Page 28 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

‘Okay.’ This time the word comes out with confidence.

‘You can leave now if you like – seize the bull by the horns.’

‘Okay,’ I repeat to myself. Seconds later and I’m tugging my purse strap over my shoulder before turning around to face her. ‘I can totally do this?’

‘Totally. And whatever “this” is, I look forward to hearing about it next week, dear.’

‘Thanks Mrs. Lundy.’

‘Hildy.’

* * *

Standing outside the hospital, I’m forced to realise my confidence didn’t leave Apartment 33A with me.

I don’t think I can do this.

Honestly.

I really don’t.

All that confidence I felt with Mrs. Lundy.

Gone.

Vanished.

I stare at the front entrance, flyer clutched tightly in my hands. I’m not even sure why I always bring the flyer with me. It isn’t as if I wouldn’t know where I was going once inside the doors. If I ever make it through the front doors, that is.

I picture the route in my head. Main floor and then up the elevator to the fourth floor. Follow the yellow line marked on the floor and it’ll be halfway down the corridor on the right. I wonder if the yellow line is supposed to be representative of The Yellow Brick Road. It doesn’t matter, as the final destination isn’t Oz, but a place called Really Complicated.

My hands are clammy.

If I turned around and walked away right now, no one would ever know.

Okay.

Hildegard Lundy will take one look at my face next week and know.

This is why cleaners hate it when clients are home when they arrive to clean.

A chuff of breath leaves my body in frustration, leaving me light-headed.

I shouldn’t have promised.

I stare accusingly at the hospital entrance and not for the first time in this little charade I pull off every week, I blame Sarah.

It is so completely her fault I’m in this position.

Telling me I’d be so good at it.

Pushing.

Pushing.

Pushing.

And when that didn’t work, telling me I might meet someone great while doing it.

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