Page 144 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

‘Someone,’ I correct.

‘Something that may not be what you think it is.’

I want to bolt. ‘What do you think it is, then?’

‘I think it’s not casual. I think you’re about to get into something super serious when you need to be able to enjoy something lighter, first. You need fun, not scary feels.’

‘Why do you think it’ll immediately get serious?’

‘Please. You’ve already stopped straightening up everything on the table,’ Carlos says, pointing to the sugar granules and screwed up napkin I’ve left. ‘You’re happy. Not thinking clearly.’

‘You want me to be happily unhappy? You do realise you sound ridiculous?’

‘You think we didn’t know you only wanted to start dating so you’d have some company on the weekends?’

Damn.

‘That’s why I want you to know I have other photos. Other guys.’

‘What?’ Oz swings his head to Carlos.

‘Not like that. Never like that. I mean for her,’ Carlos says, nodding his head at me.

‘I don’t want to see photos of other guys,’ I tell him.

‘Fine – you could still have Zach. There. I’ve said it.’

‘Zach?’ I feel like I’ve been doused with cold water.

‘On a super-casual basis, like you’ve been wanting. On the weekends.’

My eyes narrow because he seems so certain. ‘And you know this how?’

‘I did a deep dive into his socials.’

‘Carlos,’ Oz groans. ‘You didn’t.’

‘Hey, one of us at least was curious he forgot an entire wedding invite. And I felt responsible, being as it was me who slipped her his photo. Anyways it turns out he’s way too busy for random hook-ups because he’s moving back home and in with his mother!’

Wow.

Makes a weird kind of sense though.

‘So, it turns out,’ I say, ‘Zach wasn’t casual about making decisions so much as he was carefully keeping things casual with me while he made a life-changing decision? You know what? I’m not even mad he didn’t mention it. I’m happy for him. I think this will be good for Zach. I think he felt really torn.’

‘And it’ll be good for you because if he’s back home during the week it means he’d now be free on the weekend to see you. Whereas George?—’

‘George?’

‘George is just out of a long relationship. He’ll have baggage. I know you don’t like to talk about losing Sarah and I don’t want to define her in any way as baggage but you’re already in deeper with George than you were with Zach. What if you both barely get started unpacking your baggage together and George decides to go back to the UK?’

I thought there was some rule about not sticking your friends with their biggest fear? My chin, when I lift it, may portray a fine wobble but I’m determined to stay positive. ‘Then I’ll have had some fun and let loose with a really decent guy and be happy about that.’

‘You’ll be devastated.’

I mean, he’s not wrong but I’m not going to let the fear of that stop me from having this so I remain silent.

‘Ashleigh, come on. Even the fact that you’re so calm about George is scaring the bejesus out of me.’

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