Page 126 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

‘You’re right, there isn’t. But there is something wrong with not wanting to do anything that might cause you a moment’s “hassle” in life – his words, not mine. Don’t be overly fair on him, Ashleigh. There’s going with the flow and then there’s avoiding making decisions.’

‘Says the guy who’s been sitting in his apartment for days, letting perfectly good job opportunities slip through his fingers. Have you thought any more about that job?’

Damn, left myself wide open. ‘Yes.’

‘And?’

‘It’s still a “no”.’

‘But why?’

‘Ashleigh.’

‘No. Seriously, didn’t you say a part of you had been feeling like the work you did lately, felt irrelevant? This would be the opposite of that. Still creative but instead of increasing profits for some corporation, you’d be getting the word out about something that matters. Something that informs and benefits others. That in turn also benefits you and makes you feel like you’re involved in something real.’

‘Are you on some sort of retainer with the hospital?’ I ask, trying not to let her words intrigue.

‘No, that would be you if you took the job.’

‘Look, I know you think I’d be perfect for it but?—’

‘But nothing. I’m not going to let this go, George.’

‘Oh, I definitely hear that.’

We lapse back into silence again and I’m left to contemplate why it is that every time she brings it up, the job sounds better? And how is it that every time she does, I can feel my heels digging in deeper? How much of my reaction is down to my heart history and dislike of hospitals and how much of it is to do with because I didn’t plan for needing to change jobs?

‘You know, maybe I encouraged Zach to let me down.’

Ashleigh’s soft statement brings me out of my reverie. ‘What the hell?’

‘Maybe I didn’t’—she blows out a breath—‘listen enough? Or only heard what I wanted to hear? Maybe I missed something – some nuance?’

‘How could you understand nuance if he didn’t give you any context?’

‘But what if he told me the context and I didn’t hear it because I was busy solving my problem of going to this wedding with a date?’

‘Don’t do that. He told you he would go with you and then he let you down. This is not your fault.’

‘I guess.’

I hate that she doesn’t sound convinced and try and take her mind off doubting herself with, ‘So, what’s my kissing like?’

‘How would I know?’

She’d know if I’d kissed her in Mrs. Lundy’s kitchen like I’d wanted to. Or on the fire escape outside of Oscars like I’d wanted to. Or in my bedroom a scant hour or so ago when I’d seen how hard she was working to hold it together. Instead, I say, ‘I’m pretty sure your family are going to expect you to have kissed a guy you’re seeing.’

‘Oh. In that case. Your kissing is spectacular.’

Our gazes meet again and she smiles, shakes her head and murmurs that I’m, ‘so tiring’ but there’s no bite to it.

‘Spectacular? Noted. And what side of the bed do I sleep on?’ I ask.

‘That one’s easy. You sleep in the middle.’

Damn. Is she answering that Zach does or that she knows I do because she cleans my bedroom? ‘So how am I in bed?’

‘Hey, if you need to ask…’

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