Page 81 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

‘Damn. Good point. Unfortunately, without that insight, I had Tim and Anya, holding hands at her desk, playing on loop in my brain during the meeting. There’s no excuse really. One minute I was listening to Tim deliver his pitch – smarting a bit because it was good – and then the next thing I knew I was standing over him with an empty bowl of congealed noodles in my hands, watching them slide satisfyingly down his face.’

Ashleigh takes a breath and then whispers, ‘Wow.’

‘Quite.’

We’re both quiet for a moment and then she says, ‘Is your girlfriend the one you have your arms wrapped around in the photo beside your bed?’

‘Anya.’ I nod. ‘She is. Was.’

‘Was?’ Ashleigh purses her lips in sympathy. ‘Surely she could forgive you for making an assumption – I bet if she’d seen us holding hands?—’

‘The thing is … not only was I wrong in assuming she and Tim were together, thus dumping a bowl of dessert noodles over his head for no good reason – although to be fair, I’ve always thought he’s a colossal dick. But being as I’m supposed to be a grownup – a newly promoted grownup at that – pretty sure I’m supposed to know that while I can think someone is a colossal dick, I’m not supposed to highlight that in a meeting. Especially one where we’re supposed to be on the same side.’

‘But you thought he was hitting on your girlfriend.’

‘Ex-girlfriend because here comes the irony… We broke up last week.’

‘You did?’

‘Yes. A technical detail she reminded me of immediately after the bowl-crowning incident when she rushed in to ask what the hell was going on. She couldn’t understand, you see. How could I behave so strangely when we’d agreed we were going to handle our separation politely and respectfully and not drag it through the gossip mill at work. She thought I understood… She’d made sure that I was all right about it all?—’

‘All right about it all? What? The? Actual?’

It feels good, so long after the fact, that here’s finally someone who understands the whole adding-insult-to-injury deal of her saying that in front of everyone. ‘You’re sweet to get so indignant on my behalf but considering I so misconstrued their hand-holding, which, apparently shouldn’t have affected me considering we had broken up, and shoved a bowl of presentation dessert noodles over Tim bloody Duggins’ head, in the middle of a pitch meeting, and then had my relationship breakdown aired in said meeting, and ultimately started staggering about clutching my heart like a loon before she had to help me out of the glass-walled room – did I mention that by the way?’ I wince at the memory of watching everyone’s guppy-like faces soaking up the drama. ‘Not only did the potential new clients see me full-meltdown, but so did everyone on the office floor. One minute I was inside a glass-walled room being stared at, the next I was on the outside of it staring at my co-workers staring back at me like if it wasn’t the top agency in the city, they’d be whipping out their phones and filming me dying?—’

‘Having a panic attack can make you feel like you’re dying,’ Ashleigh confirms gently.

‘I was dying – or at least my career was. Right in front of everyone.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah.’ I place my empty mug down beside me to shove my hands through my hair and release a series of sighs that could build an entire bridge to rival the ones in Venice and Oxford. ‘In one week, I’ve managed to lose my girlfriend, my job and my dignity.’ I close my eyes to try and deny the reality.

‘I know a bit about losing dignity,’ Ashleigh says quietly.

‘You do?’ Immediately intrigued, I open one eye to stare at her. Her eyes are lowered so that they’re focused on the contents of her mug. ‘Oh, that’s right,’ I say. ‘You alluded to it earlier. Well, I’m going to need you to expand fully on that if you want to join me in my pity party. If you need a drink to tell me, there’s a bottle in the cupboard over the sink.’

‘I don’t think we should drunk-compare right now. Alcohol won’t sit well on top of tea and besides, technically I’m still at work.’

‘I won’t tell if you don’t tell and at least you have a job.’ God, what am I going to do if I’ve lost my job?

‘I’m sure if you go in and explain to your boss? Fall on your knees? Beg?’

‘You’re exceptionally good at pulling all the gory details out of a person. I left out the part where my boss – Mr. Richards – the head of the agency … is also my ex-girlfriend’s father.’

‘Double-wow.’

‘Yep.’ I like how she manages to convey so much understanding every time she utters the word “Wow” but then a new thought occurs. ‘Hey, I know you said you were still technically at work but don’t you usually clean my place on a Tuesday?’

‘Right. So technically I’m not still at work. I stopped by to bring you—’ she hesitates. ‘It seems so silly now.’

‘You stopped by to bring me something?’ I think of all the little things she’s been doing for me over the last few weeks. The thoughtful touches. How I’d been feeling cared for.

‘It’s nothing. Well, maybe, I guess you’d call it a gift?’

‘You brought me a gift?’

Ashleigh runs her hands nervously down her jeans as she steps out from behind my breakfast bar. ‘Not so much a gift as something to help.’

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