Page 80 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

George

‘With a…?’ Ashleigh leans forward on the island unit, her mug between her hands. ‘Okay, I’m going to need you to expand on that.’

She doesn’t look scared.

Or disappointed.

So, humiliating as it is, I’m glad I clarified about the method and weapon.

‘It was during a campaign pitch,’ I say.

She makes another continuing motion with her hand. ‘More of those pesky details, please.’

I sip tea, reluctant to allow the incident to unfold again in my head, let alone report it to a stranger.

Not a stranger, I think. Still. ‘I don’t think I can. It’s utterly humiliating.’

‘To my knowledge humiliation never killed anyone. Did anyone go to hospital?’

‘No.’

‘Then it can’t have been that bad. Is anyone pressing charges?’

‘I don’t know.’ Hadn’t even thought about it as I fled the scene of my crime, or rather, skulked away from it.

‘If your phone or email isn’t blowing up then probably not. So, what happened, exactly?’

‘I shoved Tim bloody Duggins’ face into a bowl of noodles for perving on my girlfriend.’ There. I’ve said it. I check my breathing, surprised to discover it’s remained relatively normal.

‘Sounds like he deserved it,’ Ashleigh surmises.

Wrongly, unfortunately. ‘Only it turns out it wasn’t perving,’ I state. ‘I mean, it isn’t actually considered that when the two people in question are together.’

‘What? They got it on together in the middle of a meeting? I hope you reserved a noodle-dunking for your so-called girlfriend as well.’

I like that she looks indignant on my behalf. Anyone else I was explaining this to would be waiting for a punchline. I guess at least I can be grateful I didn’t actually punch him. Not that I would ever. I don’t think. Haven’t been in a fight since … um … ever. Left that to my little brother, didn’t I, on the occasions when I was too ill to do it for myself, which were way too many to count, I remember darkly. I close my eyes briefly as if to make sure I don’t dwell on what I can’t change and then realise I’m still only halfway through my sorry tale. ‘No – sorry I was in the middle of a meeting,’ I explain. ‘I was sitting in on Tim bloody Duggins’ pitch for sweet noodles. I’m a Senior Account Director for the HR Advertising Agency – was.’ I wince because I’m pretty sure I don’t have a job anymore.

Without the panic, and without alcohol helping me to justify my actions, the seriousness of it all slams into me. How I’ve basically thrown my career away, which, when I’d woken up this morning, was the absolute opposite of what I’d planned.

Immerse myself in work, had been the plan.

Land a new account, had been the plan.

Fill my day until I could come home exhausted and fall into bed without allowing thoughts of what Anya and I had agreed to, to derail me in any way, had been the plan.

‘Oh, I’ve heard of them. Did you do the—’ Ashleigh breaks off, taking in the bleak expression on my face. ‘Sorry, not relevant right now. Continue…’

‘I’m not sure what to say.’ I pull my legs up and lean forward to rest my forearms on my knees, holding my mug of tea comfortingly. ‘Except, I guess, you know that phenomenon where you see something once, and then start seeing it all the time?’

‘You mean as in dead people?’

That makes me rock back slightly. ‘Whoa, so not where I was going with this. You Sixth Sense see dead people?’

‘No of course not – that would be totally weird, right?’ She brushes it off with a laugh but also goes bright red before hurrying on with, ‘So, you saw something and then kept seeing it wherever you went?’

‘Right. The two of them together. Tim bloody Duggins and my girlfriend. For weeks now. Everywhere she was, there he was. And, okay, yes, I’ll concede that as we all work together technically the odds are pretty high, but I guess I began to think it was more than coincidence. And then, right before the pitch meeting … well, usually when you see two people holding hands, you’re perfectly within your right to assume more, right? A level of intimacy?’

‘Absolutely.’ She nods her head but then stops abruptly. ‘I mean, well, I guess, we were just holding hands, so…’

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