Page 79 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

‘I can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as the kind you get back home but I’m prepared to give it a shot.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine.’

She glances up from depositing the doughnut in the bin and I can’t help but feel a certain kind of way about her padding around my place barefoot with a short uniform on. It’s a good visual.

I shake my head at myself because I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be thinking that but I guess, the day, the panic, all of it has me shaken and stirred.

Ashleigh disappears from view and I realise it’s to retrieve something from the drier.

‘I want you to know that I don’t usually do my laundry at clients’ homes,’ she says, shaking out a pair of jeans and then shucking into them. ‘This is strictly a one-off. Spilled bleach on them. Oops, shouldn’t have mentioned the ‘B’ word.’

My mouth stretches into a grin. ‘It’s okay. I really do feel better now.’

I’m not sure what I expected my cleaner to look like … to be honest I never once thought about it when I was writing notes and crossword clues. I feel bad realising that the clues and notes were more for me. A sort of coping method and reward for getting through the day.

‘So why does the smell of bleach trigger you?’ she asks as she peeks in cabinet after cabinet looking for tea-making things.

Without even thinking about it I find myself admitting, ‘My mother would use it to clean the house every day.’ I don’t want to make my mother sound weird so I add, ‘It was because I was a sickly child. Had a heart issue – all resolved now.’ Even though I’ve rushed over the words I can’t believe I said them. I’ve tried to make it the least relevant thing about me, so the words feel alien on my tongue.

I steal a glance at her but she still has the same kind, interested expression on her face. The perfect kind of interested, as in not getting off on the confessional. I swallow and stretch my legs out. ‘My mother wanted to do her utmost to make sure that no added germs would get in and make me worse.’

She nods, and finishes dunking a teabag. ‘Makes total sense.’

It did? Just like that? No more questions asked?

I wait a bit, braced, but this angel simply gets on with making me a cup of tea. ‘You should make one for yourself,’ I insist. ‘Or a coffee. Or your beverage of choice.’

Your beverage of choice?

So smooth.

‘Okay, I’ll try some of this tea, maybe.’

She brings the tea over, passes it to me and then goes back to make hers. ‘So, what happened today that you tried to get drunk, which, FYI, is darn near impossible when you’re amped-up on panic.’

‘Noted.’ I take a sip of the boiling hot breakfast tea and find myself sighing before I say, ‘Today was just your average cluster-fuck, I guess.’

‘Not sure there’s anything average about you, George. But…’ She makes a rolling motion with her hand. ‘Continue…’

‘There was an incident at work.’ God. ‘I was involved in an incident at work. I – what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done at work?’

I see her shoulders rise and then carefully lower back down. She takes a sip of tea and ignoring me, says, ‘Is that what happened to you, today? Something embarrassing? We’ve all done embarrassing things at work.’

‘Yeah? But what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?’ I probe. ‘Drop a client’s Rolex down a toilet? Mistake a can of deodorant for furniture polish? Because I have to say it would have to go a long way to beat mine today… Oh, yeah, I should mention mine also includes criminal activity.’

I watch her eyes go round and nod my head. ‘Yep. Me hyperventilating – not for the first time today.’

‘Oh, George, hyperventilating isn’t a crime.’ She bites down on her lip thoughtfully and then says softly, ‘But anxiety can make us do the worst things.’

‘Like assault someone?’

‘What? No … oh my god, you assaulted someone?’

‘With a bowl of noodles.’

Chapter Twenty-Four

ALL THE GORY DETAILS

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