Page 49 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

Interested eyes bore into me and I’m mortified there’s been a slip in my cheerful, professional demeanour. I hate thinking anyone might see me upset. Might worry about me.

Or be unsure of me.

Pasting what I hope is a relaxed smile onto my face, I explain, ‘No, I mean snake as in actual reptilian kind. I’m pretty sure 4A The Clouds is getting one. I saw articles on how to look after them when I covered for you last week. Also, they asked me to clear a perfect vivarium-sized space above the chest of drawers in the kid’s bedroom. You know how the 4A parents are – they’re absolutely gonna get him one for his birthday.’

Janice screws up her face. ‘Lordy, no. I cannot deal. Can we swap? You do 33A and 33C on Tuesdays, right? I could do yours and you could do my 4A and 4B?’

‘Sure, I – wait,’ I can’t imagine not getting to chat with Mrs. Lundy anymore. It’s not as if I could pitch up at her apartment for a visit if I’m not there to clean, is it?

And give up cleaning George’s apartment?

No. Way.

The thought of another cleaner working out what it is he needs over me working it out? Because there has to be something. Some way in which I can improve his home for him. Every week I go and every week the place looks the same. And every week it intrigues me more. Because if you don’t really exist in your home where is your escape? Where do you get to be you?

I refuse to believe that clinical, soulless place is providing that special breathing space every person needs. Not to mention I’ve fallen in love with completing his crosswords for him.

I scrabble for something to say and stammer out, ‘Y-you wouldn’t enjoy cleaning 33C. OCD off the scale. Honestly, pernickety doesn’t begin to cover it. And every week it’s something else. Something … weird.’

‘Weird?’ Rhonda interrupts, her police-commissioner hawk-like gaze zeroing in on me. ‘We have reporting methods for “weird.” You know I have a zero-tolerance policy for “extras”.’

‘Oh no,’ I rush to say, ‘not as in “let me watch you clean naked” weird.’

Rhonda’s shrewd gaze sharpens to a laser beam and I feel the redness creep from my neck to stain my cheeks. Wow, was that the wrong thing to say. ‘What I mean is, weird as in needing to use bleach that doesn’t smell of bleach and, plus … he’s British, so, you know…’

‘Huh?’

Janice isn’t wrong in her confusion because there’s nothing that I can think of that’s wrong about being British so I just leave my statement hanging until finally, with a look on her face suggesting she’s embarrassed to be the only person on the planet who doesn’t know about the thing with the British, says, ‘Ooohhh,’ and slowly nods her head up and down knowingly.

‘Exactly, right?’ I say, my voice getting higher and higher. ‘I couldn’t do that to you.’ I stare down at the rota, wanting to make this better. Needing to make this better. ‘Adeena, you take your mom to physio on Tuesdays, why don’t you swap with Janice? Save you having to cut back across traffic and Janice, you’d be closer to the L train for getting home.’

Adeena looks over at Janice. ‘That would really help me out. Okay with you?’

‘Long as there’s no reptiles, I’m good. Thanks, Ashleigh.’

‘No problem.’

‘Right, if that’s everything?’ Rhonda says and then after a brief pause, ‘Ashleigh, can I see you in my office, please?’

My heart travels into my mouth like it’s in a reverse-drop ride at an amusement park.

Am I getting fired?

* * *

‘Do you need to answer that?’ Mrs. Lundy asks as my phone goes off for the third time since arriving to clean for her this morning.

I definitely don’t.

I’m in an exceptionally good mood after not getting fired yesterday and in all likelihood answering the call will put a damper on that.

‘That’s okay, Mrs. Lundy. If it was work it would be a different ringtone.’

Mrs. Lundy smiles from her chair. ‘So, who’s behind the ‘Danger, Will Robinson!’ ringtone?’

I feel bad as I sheepishly answer, ‘It’s just my mom.’

‘I see.’ She lets the phone continue its clanging chimes of doom warning for a beat and then checks, ‘It won’t be any sort of emergency?’

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