Page 101 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

A slow lop-sided smile spreads over George’s face as he walks over to a bench containing boxes labelled ‘Classic Rock.’ I try and ignore that there was a bit of a strut in his step.

‘So why do I need art, again?’ he asks after a few moments thumbing through the records.

I pull out a couple of fantastic Bowie covers and show them to him. ‘To replace those boring block paintings, you have.’

‘The paintings in the apartment? I never really paid attention to them.’

‘Exactly! Interiors should say something about a person. They—’ I break off, aware I was about to wax lyrical on interiors that turn dwellings into homes that reflect personality. Given that he slept through my recounting of my past life as a decorating nerd, I don’t want to send him to sleep again.

George whips out an album with a giant frog’s head on it and holds it up as if it’s his head as he says, ‘Are you trying to tell me that currently I blend into my background. That I’m…’ He lowers the album cover, and his eyebrows bounce up and down. ‘Boring?’

I laugh at the absurdity of George looking like a frog rather than a prince. I don’t think anyone could describe him as boring. Anya must be one of a kind to have given him up so easily.

As he puts the album cover back and then moves over one aisle to look through some more, I find myself following.

‘Look at this gem.’ George holds up a cover and must be able to tell by the bemused look on my face that I’ve never heard of the band because he explains, ‘My nephew used to sing this at the top of his voice, usually in a public place causing maximum embarrassment. It will make a really thoughtful wedding present for them.’

‘The way you’re saying “thoughtful” with that evil smile makes me compelled to tell you, you should also get them something actually thoughtful as well.’

George laughs and nods his head. ‘What though? I want it to be something the kids will love too.’

‘A toaster can be for everyone,’ I tease and then, thinking of his niece and nephew’s artwork on his fridge, I add, quieter, softer, ‘You must miss them?’

‘I don’t think I’ve allowed myself to think about it – but yeah.’

‘It’ll be great to get to visit with them again.’ Suddenly I feel anxious for no good reason. So what if he steps one foot back inside The Bedraggled Badger and never wants to come back here. So what if he decides to stay in England forever. If that’s the right thing for him then that’s obviously what I want for him.

As a friend.

‘What about you?’ George asks. ‘You mentioned a brother. Do you have more siblings? Nieces and nephews?’

‘My sister has a six-year-old who wraps me around her little finger with just a look,’ I say proudly. ‘My brother Joey was just telling me he and his wife want to wait a while but I don’t think it’ll be that long. Not if my ma has any say in it, anyways.’

‘What about you? You want kids?’

I think my mouth drops open a little.

‘Um … sure.’

‘Sure?’

I frown. Can you really have it all or can you only have bits of it? Bits of it doesn’t sound bad, I think. I never saw myself having kids and being a busy senior editor of a magazine. That dream would have to come with a nanny and for me, a nanny getting to see my kids take their first steps while I wrestled with budgets didn’t fill me with enthusiasm. I like how my ma and pa muddled through. It was messy. Hard. But career and family all came with a sense of community. I think that’s what family means to me. As much as I’ve thought about never going back home, there is that closeness there. A support network helping in all the ways needed. I can see myself having kids in that kind of setting. Maybe while running my own cleaning business? I don’t know where I’m living. I don’t know who I’m with, but I can feel it as a possibility. Something that could take root inside me. Something to work towards?

It feels good.

Right.

A goal for the future.

‘Yeah, I want kids,’ I admit. ‘What about you?’

‘Sure.’

He says it so much more confidently than I did but I still find myself saying, ‘Sure?’

He smiles. ‘Yeah. Me and Anya… It’s possible she was right. It’s possible we were really in more of a situationship than a relationship. Deep down I knew there was this massive mis-step between us. But I really do want kids and now I know I’d discuss that honestly if I met someone else.’

‘You’ll meet someone else.’

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