“And what are your feelings?”
Of course she’d ask for clarification on the one topic I’d like to avoid like the plague. But she’s right. I’ve been so hot and cold, I owe her an explanation.
After taking a deep breath, I run my hands through my hair. Again.
Charlotte watches me, brows raised, and while I don’t want to spill my emotions all over the place, I can’t keep everything buried anymore. Not when the lies are growing with every passing day.
Fuck, my behavior at the game already has my friendship with Harrison on the line. I can’t lose everyone else as well.
“I like you.” I grip the back of my neck, squeezing hard. “I like you more than I’m supposed to.” I take another deep breath, and Roman knocks his knee into mine. He wants me to give her more, but this is hard.
What if she rejects me again?
We all know I’m not good enough for her. It’s probably why she didn’t kiss me back in high school. “And now that you’re here, I can’t get you out of my head. I’ve tried my damndest to keep my distance, because the last thing I should be doing is touching you, my best friend’s off-limits sister. I need to be focusing on hockey, on making the playoffs, but you’re the only thing I can think about. But if you aren’t interested in me, just say the word, and I’ll walk away.”
My insides twist, and my chest tightens. I don’t want to walk away, but I will. No matter how much it pains me.
I really want her to want me back.
“Just like that?” She bites down on her bottom lip.
“Yes.” I glance between a surprised Roman and a smug Mateo, both watching me, no doubt waiting for me to lose my shit again, but it’s not going to happen. This—Charlotte—is way too important to fuck up.
I’ve spent so long focusing on my goals, on hockey, I pushed away everything else. And it worked.
For a short time, I was able to push my feelings aside and focus on the sport I loved with everything I had.
But Charlotte?
This is the girl that’s known me, the real me, for years. I grew up with her brother, sure, but I grew up with her, too.
We’d all stay up well past our bedtime, armed with cold pizza and Dr. Pepper, and take turns beating each other on Halo, Call of Duty, and when we were feeling nostalgic, anything Super Mario. Charlotte wasn’t always competitive, but put a video game controller in her hand, and that girl became a shark.
And she always seemed to know when I was struggling, when my parents’ death haunted me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep and she would sit with me, sometimes for hours, while everyone else was fast asleep. We’d go outside, sit in the courtyard, and just listen to the sounds of the city.
She’s always been the one person who could make everything better without a word.
I’m not sure I can fight her anymore.
Charlotte is quiet for several seconds, her hands twisting in her lap. “What if I don’t know what I want?”
My heart stops.
She pauses, her face turning a deep shade of red. “What if I want all three of you?” Her voice is quiet, hesitant.
My heart starts to beat again, chasing the hope she’s holding out in front of me.
The air around us thickens, charged with an electricity that’s palpable. Mateo, Roman, and I freeze. I’m not sure any of us even dare to breathe.
“Is that…? I’m sorry. Forget it.” She waves a hand, like she’s trying to waft the words away. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” She pushes up from the couch, but Mateo is directly in front of her, blocking her, and she flops back down next to me.
“You can leave if you want.” Mateo leans toward her, and nods toward her bedroom. “But I didn’t peg you as a coward. You can go to your room, and we’ll never bring this up again, or you can answer my question. Do you want us separately, Charlie? Or do you want us together?”
I’m on the edge of my seat, my heart pounding so loud in my ears I’m afraid I won’t be able to hear her answer.
She didn’t turn me down. She didn’t tell me to go fuck myself.
And she wants all of us.