Page 62 of A Sword of Shadow and Deceit

Confused as well as surprised, I lift my head and turn my attention to Ruen. To say that I’m shocked by his choice of dealing with this would be putting it mildly.

“What about her?” Kalix jerks his chin towards me and Ruen blinks as if reminded, suddenly, of my presence. That’s unlike him—to forget. Over the past few weeks, I’ve observed him. He's struck me as one of the most aware people I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. He sees too much, in my opinion, and the worry of him finding out my true objective here at the Academy has hung over my head like a sword of damage suspended from a singular spider’s thread. Now, he’s even forgetting my existence when I’m right next to him?

Ah, I see. It hits me then that despite his words and calm expression, Ruen Darkhaven is just as affected by Darius’ death as Theos. He simply expresses it in a different way. His grief is quiet, buried deep within himself. The emotion in his eyes shudders as he gazes across the space, his attention settling on the floor of the battle arena where bloodstains still soak into the dirt below.

If these three know each other as well as I think they do, then Ruen’s choice to not return to their rooms, to follow after Theos, must mean that he knows how his brother would prefer to mourn. Or perhaps, it’s just that he has his own way of mourning, whether that be by distraction or something else.

Bowing slightly at the waist, “No need to worry,” I say. “I shall take my leave if you permit it and leave the two of you for the night.”

After a moment, Ruen replies, his voice tighter than I’ve ever heard it. “Go.” That’s it. A single word and yet, within it, the meaning is that much deeper. He doesn’t sound angry or full of expected sorrow. Instead, he sounds tired. Exhausted. As if the entire weight of the world rests upon his shoulders and he’s become aware of it once more.

His dismissal is enough to get me moving. I don’t wait around for him to change his mind. Despite the aftermath of the arena battles, I still have things to take care of. Regis’ note from this morning still hasn’t slipped my memory and I need to request permission to leave the Academy grounds from Dauphine and Hael.

My feet eat up the distance to the arena’s exit. Because the battles had lasted until after nightfall, there are still several students, and subsequently Terra, in the corridors of the Academy. It takes more effort for me to get through them unnoticed. As much as I wish I could call upon my Divine abilities, I fear running the risk of discovery. So, instead, I rely completely on my normal skills—ducking my head when I pass the students, keeping my attention down, and my face shielded in the shadows.

Like the Terra dining hall, the offices of the senior Terra are located in a different building than the rest of the Academy. Crossing through the Terra courtyard, I hang a right and duck behind a low stone wall, pausing when voices echo back to me. I wait, slipping further into the darkness, as a pair of Terra pass by chattering away.

I wait another few beats until I’m sure they’re long gone and then make my way into the Terra office building that doubles as a separate residence for the senior Terra. Where the rooms for sleeping are built above the Terra dining hall, the offices are to the back and down a set of stairs that are as narrow as the ones in the north tower.

Once I reach the bottom, I spot the offices with dusty wood plaques outside their doors. Unlike the offices of the Gods, these hallways are narrow and dark. I pause in the doorway to the Terra I’ve been searching for and take a look inside. The room is slightly wider and longer than a normal office with a small slit of a fireplace and wooden beams overhead. It’s certainly not as lavish as Caedmon’s had been, but they are more spacious than my own room in the north tower.

The man standing by the fireplace, tossing crumpled pages into the flames every few seconds, straightens as the last one leaves his bony fingertips. I part my lips as he turns, but my words are immediately swallowed by the startled shout he unleashes. Hael jerks back, slamming his spine into the ridge that surrounds the fireplace with his hand rising to his chest. The thin strings of his dark brown hair hang limply around his thin face. His patchy salt-and-pepper beard is a bit fuller since I last saw him.

I freeze. “Um … Mr. Hael?”

“D-dear Gods…” he murmurs, his eyes wide as he gapes at me. “When … how long…” The elder Terra breathes heavily, his white face even paler at the fright of my presence. A beat passes and then another and another.

“I’m sorry for startling you, sir,” I say.

“Y-yes, well, y-you’re quite soft on your feet, aren’t you?” Hael stutters out as he gradually steps away from the fireplace. With careful footsteps and eyes that quickly cut back and forth from me to his path and back again, he makes his way across the threadbare red rug that covers the cold stone floor to the thick dust and book covered desk in the center of the small room. “Can I help you, young one?”

My lips twitch at the endearment. It seems, away from Dauphine, the man is far more human than he appeared in front of the masses at orientation. No doubt, he can’t recall my name. That’s fine by me.

I step forward. “I was wondering if it’d be possible to request a day off this coming weekend,” I begin.

“All Terra get one day off a week,” he responds quickly, slowly lowering himself into the chair behind his desk. The creak of wood echoes up to the rafters, loud enough that I half expect the chair to disintegrate and fall apart as he settles his weight—no matter how slight—upon the seat of it. Surprisingly, however, it doesn’t.

“Yes, I know. I was wondering if I may take some time from that day to visit my family in Riviere.”

Hael’s sharp eyes snap to my face. “You want to leave the grounds?”

I nod.

He hums in the back of his throat, steepling his fingers together on the lip of his desk. “We normally do not allow Terra to leave the grounds, especially not so soon after entering.”

I lift my chin. Despite his words, I don’t hear a ‘no’ and so, I push forward. “I understand and I know it’s unlikely, but I humbly request it still.”

“Why?” Hael settles his eyes on me.

The why doesn’t matter. That much is clear. Though he lacks the decisive ‘no’ that would end this conversation, it’s clear to me that he wants information. That’s not something I can give. Carefully stepping farther into the room, I turn and close the door at my back.

“What are you doing?” Hael’s chair scrapes across the ground as I turn the lock.

There is no one else here in the room and though I could sneak out of the Academy grounds, I’d much rather do things the easy way. I pivot to face Hael whose pale face is quickly reddening with indignation and anger.

Pulling from my inner core of Divine power, I stare back at him and let it fill my tone. “Sit down.”

His face goes slack in an instant and he drops back into his chair. I move towards him, not stopping until I’m stationed across from him. Hael’s expression has lost the color of anger and now appears distant and dreamlike. My tongue swipes across my teeth nervously. I rarely use this ability as I’ve seen it too much. Seduction. Persuasion. The very reason Gods control everything is because of this—their power over mortals that convinces them to follow their every word.

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