Page 106 of A Helpin g Hand for the Village Nurse

‘I’m Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix legions and loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius.’

He slammed a fist into his breastplate and stood to attention, and Ottilie broke into a laugh.

‘Hang on, I should know this…’

‘Aw!’ His face fell. ‘I hope I’m not going to have to explain this all night. Magnus said I ought to get something more obvious, but I thought everyone would get this. And I thought it was sexy.’

‘It is,’ Ottilie said. ‘Who is it?’

‘It’s the guy from Gladiator! Honestly!’

Ottilie gave an apologetic shrug. ‘Sorry, I’ve never seen it.’

‘Well, that’s wasted then.’

‘I’m sure everyone else has. Anyway, it still looks cool so I wouldn’t worry.’

‘Help yourself to a drink – they’re over on the table by the cinema.’

‘Thanks.’

Ottilie made her way over, stopping every so often to greet someone and swap admiration for their costumes, glad of the patio heaters warming the space. The depths of winter were still more than a month away but it was cold enough at night to feel like Christmas was close.

‘Hello.’

Ottilie looked up from the drink she was pouring to see Fliss’s husband, Charles, smiling at her.

‘I didn’t realise I’d be in the presence of royalty,’ he said with a deep bow. ‘Your Highness.’

Ottilie laughed and gave a nod of approval at his costume. ‘Who’s looking after the factory while you’re here, Mr Wonka?’

‘Oh, I put one of the Oompa Loompas in charge. It’s a bit above his pay grade, but I couldn’t miss this.’

Ottilie glanced around at the gathering.

‘No,’ he added, seeming to read her thoughts, ‘Fliss hasn’t changed her mind. She said she’d rather have a lobotomy without anaesthetic. She’s gone off to stay with a friend in York, just to make sure nobody goes round and tries to talk her into coming.’

‘Well,’ Ottilie said, ‘I’m glad you’re here.’

‘Me too. We can report back that it was the best party ever and make her jealous.’

‘I doubt that will happen.’

‘Me too, but a man can dream… Ah, here’s Lavender!’

Lavender and her husband were dressed as Bonnie and Clyde. She’d been telling Ottilie for weeks about her various attempts to source the right clothes for it. The moment she saw them, she hurried over.

‘Where’s Han Solo?’ she squeaked as she looked over Ottilie’s outfit. ‘Please say you’ve brought a sexy Han Solo with you!’

‘Oi!’ Lavender’s husband Gary grunted.

She nudged him with a laugh. ‘Come on – you know Harrison Ford is my free pass.’

‘I wouldn’t worry,’ Ottilie said. ‘I’m fairly sure Harrison Ford isn’t going to turn up tonight.’

‘Oh,’ Charles said, nodding at the gate to the garden. ‘Here’s trouble.’

Everyone turned to see Stacey and Chloe come in. Chloe was her usual cheery self, dressed in a cheerleader’s uniform that showed a now quite pronounced baby bump. Stacey wore a gingham dress and a plaited wig that made her look like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, though Ottilie was certain that hadn’t been her original plan. She seemed to recall something about Ripley from Alien, but perhaps she’d decided the costume would be too difficult to do.

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