Page 10 of Gunner

But we’re both grown up now and things have changed. I may be a ruthless biker who’d do anything and kill anyone for his club, but I’d die before I ever hurt Lily again. All that time apart didn’t make me love her any less. In fact, it made me realize how much I loved her before, and I love her just the same now. I’m hoping she’ll forgive me and let me back into her life. I certainly don’t fucking deserve it, but I won’t stop until I have her in my arms and in my fucking bed every damn night.

It hasn’t been all that long since she left but I need to see her, need to hear her voice. I climb the steps after her, seeing that Caleb’s door is cracked open. So I lean against the wall beside it, listening in.

“The moon said to the pig—” Lily reads, but he cuts her off.

“Is James coming back again, Mommy?” There’s hope in his little voice and it hits me unexpectedly right in the fucking chest.

“Do you want him to come back, baby?”

“Yeah, I like him.” Caleb pauses. “And you look happy when he’s here.”

My brows shoot up and I turn my head to peek inside the room.

“I do?” Lily asks, her voice thick with emotion.

“Uh-huh. And you smile a lot.” His mouth opens wide with a big yawn. “I like when you’re happy, Mommy.” He gives her a sleepy grin and she bends down to kiss his forehead. His eyelids flutter closed, then he’s out.

Lily stares at Caleb for a long while, stroking his cheek before planting a final kiss on his forehead and turning off the light.

She carefully lifts from the bed and leaves his room, closing the door quietly behind her. When she catches me standing right outside, she almost jumps out of her skin.

She gasps and clutches at her chest. “James? What are you?—”

I don’t let her say another word before my lips are on hers, tasting her for the first time in ten long years. “Fucking sunshine. Just like I remember.”

4

LILY

Sunshine…

That old nickname sends chills down my spine, wetness pooling between my legs. I miss the way his warm breath feels against my skin, the way I naturally open up to him like he owns my body. Maybe he still does, because there hasn’t been a single man since James who could command it like he can.

He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his lean waist as he pushes me against the wall, trapping me against him too. He presses his hips into me, rubbing his hard cock over my core, and I have to bite down a moan.

“James,” I breathe as my head tilts back, giving him better access.

“Yeah, baby?” His teeth rake along the column of my neck.

“We can’t do this.” I force the words out but they sound weak rolling off my tongue.

He tightens his grip on my supple hips, pressing himself harder against me. Unable to control the cries that escape my mouth, I gasp when he stifles them with a hand. His hold on me is too much to bear, physically and emotionally. I’m trembling, searching for a way out but it’s no use. There’s nowhere for me to go.

James has me right where he wants me—completely and utterly at his mercy.

“Tell me why we can’t, Lil.” He kisses below my ear and whispers, “Do you know how much I’ve been dying to touch you tonight? How badly I wanted to say fuck it and bend you over right there in the kitchen?”

I shiver at the image he paints.

“No, you don’t know. It’s been years since I held you, Lily, and I’ll be damned if you think I’m letting you walk away from this. Letting you walk away from me again.” He tauntingly rolls his hips and stares into my eyes, keeping me in some kind of lust-filled trance.

Yet it’s more than short-term desire fueling both of us right now. It’s a deep-seated longing that neither of us can deny.

“I hope you understand why I had to let you go, and that you’ll give me a chance to make up for it. I’m not the same boy I was, Lil. I can promise you that. But I know for damn sure I’m the man you need now. You just have to let me show you.” He dips his head and kisses me reverently. “But if you really think we shouldn’t do this—that you don’t want this—then push me away. Don’t wait another second to do it. Because I’m not asking you again.” His jaw sets tight, and his nostrils flare with the warning.

My muscles grow limp as I try to rack my brain for a reason, some excuse to do exactly that. To push him away. This was supposed to be a casual dinner, just two old friends catching up. I thought we’d have a nice meal, then kiss and say goodnight.

But James and I have always been more than friends. Lovers doesn’t capture our relationship either, and he certainly wasn’t just a high school boyfriend. If I’m honest, I thought he was more of a soul mate, a part of my heart that felt empty when he wasn’t near.

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