Page 65 of Hunter

“Fair enough, but I still don’t know what this has to do with me, Phoenix,” I reply like a stubborn asshole, no longer wanting to learn about how Tony and Lou fell in love with one another.

“Will you hold the fuck on,” he huffs, “fuck, you Suits are always in such a damn rush! Anyway, Ava mothered both Tony and Lou, taught them to cook, took them to see relatives, and you know, generally did motherly type things. Tony fell for her more and more each day, not that she could see it; she thought she was one of the boys. That is until Ava and Emilio were gruesomely killed and left for the Ortega boys to find. Javier took over from his father’s ‘businesses’ which were all as shady as fuck. I’ll admit between me, you, and the dead here, I did some ‘work’ for him now and then. However, my own dad was beginning to fade away, dying a slow, painful death that no one should have to go through. I, er…”

He laughs, but when I turn to look at him, to see if he’s laughing genuinely, it’s easy to see he’s not. Whatever it is, it doesn’t appear to be at all funny.

“I offered to put him out of his misery; you know, a mercy killing.”

“Shit, what’d he say?”

“He thought about it,” he admits, shaking his head over the mere memory of what must have been a torturous conversation. “He really thought about it; I even heard him when he cried for nearly two days over that decision, in between howling out in all the agony he was in. But in the end, he said no. He wanted me to be around for Lou. He said it would be too suspicious and the risk of me being put away was too high. So, instead, the man suffered a long, hard death.”

It’s the first time I’ve seen this hulk of a man anywhere close to tears, and I respect him for it. It would take a man of steel to not feel pain over such a torturous period of his life, especially after what happened to his mother.

“I’m sorry, Phoenix, really,” I tell him, trying to sound sincere, because I may not have had the same experience, but I’ve still lost someone that felt so close, he may as well have been my fucking right leg.

“Yeah, don’t get all fluffy on me now. We’ve been through shit,” he says, gesturing to the grave in a blunt sort of way, “but let’s not braid our hair and hold each other around a campfire singing kumbaya over it. Anyway, Lou and Tony began to get closer; he leaned on her; and she mothered him. She cared for that boy with all her heart, and when Dad finally died, they realized how they truly felt for one another. He was the sweet, innocent boy of movies, buying her flowers, baking shit for her, taking her out for long drives and doing stuff I don’t even want to think about.”

Yeah, that makes two of us! I sigh as I ponder on what those things might have been, just to torture myself. He seems to read my mind and clasps one of his meaty hands over my shoulder.

“When he joined his brother, at eighteen, he changed. I mean really changed. All the bad shit that had happened in his life, all the new shit he was now witness to, it all ate away at him until finally, there was nothing left but hatred and bitterness. I tried talking to Lou once, warned her that he was heading down a bad path and to prepare herself, but I guess he still put some effort into trying to be innocent for her. Her attack though, the night her piece of shit…” He pauses, brings his fist to his mouth, then takes in a few deep breaths before righting himself again. “The night her scumbag boss violated her was the last straw for Tony. If he had only picked her up on time instead of fucking around with his friends and whatever bimbo he could flirt with, she would have been ok. After that, well, you know what happened. The dude had run out of chances with her and with me.”

We seem to sit silently for a long time, letting it all sink in. I get what he’s saying about Tony screwing up, but I can’t understand why he’s telling me all this.

“Phoenix, if she still wants him, there’s not much either one of us can do about it,” I reason with him. “I may seem like the better option to you, but I’m not what she wants. Her kissing him proved that.”

“Fuck me!” he mutters, shaking his head inside of his hands. “Have you not listened to a damn thing I’ve been saying?! And for the record, motherfucker, I do not want to palm off my beautiful, amazing sister on a Suit because you’re the better option! Fuck, she’s worth way more than that.”

“So, what are you saying? I’m obviously missing the point here!”

“I’m saying two things, dumbass; one, Lou fell in love with the sweet kid that was Tony, not the fucking douchebag he is now; and two, no matter how bad things got between them, they still grew up together, still shared their first love together, and still lived through some deeply emotional shit when they were much too young to understand it. That damn kiss was a goodbye, nothing more, and that’s exactly how she described it, so either get over it and realize you got something special with her or do one. Because if you don’t go for it, you don’t deserve her anyway.”

“Are you mad?” I taunt him.

“Yeah, I’m fucking mad,” he growls, “dumb people drive me insane, especially so-called ‘educated’ people who have no common sense whatsoever!”

I smile, knowing I’m getting to him, to which he glares back and we have a bit of a stare-off until eventually, we both laugh at one another. The grumpy bastard even nudges my arm.

“Do you need a ride anywhere?” he asks, jutting his chin out to the open bottle of booze.

“I think I do. Could I get a lift to your place?” I ask, genuinely asking for his permission to go and see her…to go and claim her back.

“That depends, how far gone are you? Cos even I know you don’t go and try and win back a girl while you’re fucked up on whiskey,” he says with all the couth I would expect from him. “And I can count on one hand the number of days I’ve spent with any one woman.”

“I’ve had two shots,” I tell him honestly, “and I don’t want to spend another day without her, Phoenix, or have another day of her thinking I don’t want her anymore.”

He bobs his head, takes the bottle from me, puts it on my brother’s grave, and then signals for me to follow him over to where his bike is parked up. My dad is going to be so jealous when he hears I got a ride on this bike, and I pray that Lou is there to see his face with me.

Chapter 25

Louisa

The sound of my brother’s bike has me jumping up from my slumped position on our couch. Even Jake’s attempts to break me from my funk with his usual crass humor have done nothing to quell my misery. When Tony broke me, I felt sad, but I was already destroyed and couldn’t really register it. I was also angry, so damn angry with him. This is different; I’m responsible for this breakup, me and that stupid kiss.

Hopefully, my brother will agree to take me to one of my favorite ice cream parlors where I can wallow over a tall glass of calorific chocolate ice cream and fresh cream. It’s not often we go, seeing as he hates it, but I am nursing a broken heart after all. Phoenix finds the whole place too cheesy and commercial, and normally I’d agree with him, but not today. Today, I’d let Goofy come and sit with us if it meant I’d snap out of feeling so dejected.

“Lou?!” I hear his usual manly tone calling out to me from the bar, so I mumble something back before I eventually round the corner to see him standing by the beer taps, already helping Jake to get the glasses ready for later.

“What do you need me to do?” I ask without an ounce of enthusiasm.

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