Page 60 of Hunter

I grin but she looks almost sad, a look that makes me feel like an asshole for upsetting her.

“Daniel,” she says without looking at me, “I love Phoenix with all my heart. He’s my brother, my father, and my mother, and he’s my friend. He’s been there for me forever and I’d be lost without him. I’m worried about him at the moment, deeply worried, but-”

“Lou, I didn’t mean to-”

I try to explain what my big, fat mouth just let slip. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset her after we’ve just had sex, as well as the amazing day we’ve shared. I even admitted to being in love with her to my best friend. I know how much Phoenix and Lou mean to each other, and rightly so, but for some reason, I keep putting my foot in it. I guess I’m a little intimidated by just how different we are.

“But,” she says, placing a finger over my lips to silence me, “I don’t want the man I’m sleeping with, the man I’m giving my heart to, to be like him.”

We stare at one another for a moment, letting her confession sink in, both what she said about Phoenix and the part about giving her heart to someone…to me.

“But Tony-”

“Tony is my past,” she whispers, “he was what I knew, what I thought I was meant for. It doesn’t mean I feel that way now…because I don’t.”

“God, I love you, Lou,” I gasp as I admit that out loud to her, “I’m lost to you.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you big idiot,” she giggles and, wrapping her up in my arms, I do what the lady asks of me.

_____

Louisa

Monday comes around quickly and I have an uneasy feeling. It isn’t just because I know I will be leaving my little bubble of domestic, loved up bliss with Daniel, but also because I still haven’t heard from Phoenix. There’s been no word since before the weekend. Last night, I phoned Jake, but he insisted that I was worrying for no good reason, that my brother would be more than fine. I had smiled and pretended to agree with him, but my stomach was still in a knot of nerves. This isn’t like him, not with me; something doesn’t feel right, and I hate it.

Daniel can tell something is up because he keeps popping in to check on me, even if he is trying to hide it behind cups of coffee and collecting messages that aren’t there. I smile tightly, try to act normal, and then feel guilty for not confiding in him. It’s not because I don’t want to, or because I don’t trust him, but it’s not my story to tell. Phoenix and I always had a verbal understanding that when I began working for ‘normal folk’, I would never discuss what he did, no matter if it was legit or otherwise. I can’t betray him, even if it is to the man I’m currently sleeping with.

“Hey, Lou?” His light, friendly, but with a-touch-of-concern voice floods through my ears, momentarily knocking me out of my panic-stricken thoughts. “Why don’t you go and get some lunch for us? We can set up a picnic in my office and you can try and convince me you’re fine when I know you’re not.”

He smiles and I smirk back with an eye roll, even though I love him more for being so cool with me.

“Sure,” I shrug, “if you’re lucky I can throw in a side order of saying ‘nothing’ whenever you ask me what’s wrong.”

“Looking forward to it,” he laughs and then we look at one another, him with sympathy, me with guilt.

Kissing him on the way out, I take some petty cash and head out onto the street, then take in a huge gulp of fresh air in an attempt to make my anxiety melt away. However, I then dig inside my pocket to find my phone and dial Phoenix’s number. Sadly, I already know I’ll get his gruff, to-the-point answer phone message. Still, when I hear that familiar ‘Sorry’ when it rings through, I stamp my foot and call him a jerk.

The line is painfully slow in the usual deli I go to, which only gives me more time to ponder on what might have happened to him. I yell at the woman behind me for tutting in my ear every five seconds, telling her that if she doesn’t like it why doesn’t she go somewhere else instead of giving me a hard time. She looks aghast, and if I’m not mistaken, like she’s about to burst into tears at any second. I sigh and apologize immediately, explaining that I’ve had a bad day, and then, low and behold, I end up sobbing too. We then hug and I feel completely humiliated in the middle of my usual food stop. I’m so ashamed, I decide to give in and bare all to Daniel, just as soon as I get back to the office.

The old lady gives me her number and tells me to call should I ever need a shoulder to cry on. I get the impression she thinks I’m in a volatile relationship, and I can’t blame her, seeing as I have a few hickies on my neck, as well as down my right arm. We were a little wild last night, and Daniel is far from mark-free. If he smiles in the right light, you can see a little cut from where I bit his lip. With that in mind, I blush, thank her profusely, then head straight back.

Just before I step onto the sidewalk in front of our office, I hear someone call out my name in a thick, Spanish accent. I shut my eyes to it, because I know full well who it belongs to. Tony says my name again, this time followed by please in a rather desperate manner. I move to ignore him and walk back inside but then the thought hits me that he might have information on Phoenix’s whereabouts. Reluctantly, I give in and follow him down the alley that runs alongside our building. I carefully check around me before stopping to talk to him.

“Mi corazon,” he smiles, before leaning in to barricade me between his huge, tattooed arms.

“Tony, what are you doing?” I sigh, now knowing this has nothing to do with my brother and I’ve just made a huge mistake in following him down here.

“You are so beautiful, Lou, and I need you, I have to have you back,” he whispers, stroking my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Come back to me, marry me…please!”

“No!” I reply bluntly, then try to push him away, but he won’t budge, and my strength is nothing compared to his. “Unless you have something to tell me about Phoenix, let me go!”

“Phoenix?!” he scoffs, looking hurt and confused. “What the hell are you talking about?! I came here for you…for us!”

“I haven’t heard from him in four days and he’s on some job for your stupid brother! Now, as far as we’re concerned, there is no us. When are you going to get that? You blew it, we’re done, finished!”

“You and me will never be done!” he growls angrily, before sighing and softening again. “We were best friends, you and I, Lou.” He looks away sadly and gives me a glimpse of the boy I used to love, a boy I will always love. The man, though, the man who hurt me so badly, who changed into this alpha, angry guy, is not that same boy anymore. “I love you so much and I know I screwed up, but I didn’t know how to help you…to help me…to not see my mother lying there abused and dead every time I looked at you!”

“Tony…” I whisper and brush away at a tear rolling down his cheek. As if pushing the knife in that little bit further, he slips down onto his knees and wraps his arms around my hips, looking desperate for me to forgive him. But I can’t.

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