Page 42 of Save You

Before I fall apart completely, Mom takes hold of the phone and begins talking softly to Jen while I collapse onto one of the kitchen chairs. My anger instantly turns into abject grief as I listen to my mom exit the kitchen to try and reason with Beth’s mother, who has just lost her one and only daughter.

Before I realize what’s happening, my father hauls me to my feet and out of the chair. He throws his arms around me and lets me cry it out against his strong protective shoulders.

“Let it all out on me, son,” he mumbles against my ear as he holds me so tight, I find it hard to breathe. “Lean on me!”

About an hour passes by before I manage to get my sorry ass out of the kitchen. Mom is still on the phone with Beth’s mother, and my daughter, our daughter, is crying in the living room. When Casey first places her into my arms, I can’t look at her face. I already know she looks too much like her mother, and it kills me to stare into those eyes, knowing that just last week, I was staring into Beth’s. When I finally do manage to look at her, she penetrates my soul with her anxious little stare. She seems to ask me, ‘Who the hell are you and what have you done with my mommy?’, all in one tiny expression. I trace her features with my finger, making her squirm and gurgle at me.

“She’s eaten and has been winded,” Casey laughs nervously, “only because Mom told me what to do.” I look at my sister for a few moments and smile in thanks. “She’s beautiful, Xander,” she says, the whole time smiling down at Rosalie while she lets her grip hold of her finger tightly. “She looks just like her… and you.”

“Both blessed and cursed at the same time, I guess,” I tease, even though I still cannot smile about it.

“Hey! Twin, remember? You insult you; you insult me too!” It brings the first smile to my face, and I want to thank her for it, but the words do not come to the surface. “I’m here for you, you know. None of us are going to let you do this on your own, no matter how much of an ass you are.”

“Thanks,” I finally manage to mumble before watching Rosalie fall back to sleep. She looks so perfect and peaceful I could watch her all night. However, moments later, the silence is broken by my mother returning to the living room with a red and puffy face. It must have been a brutal phone call and I make a mental note to thank her later. Right now, my eyes look desperately to her for some explanation as to how it went.

“How much does she hate me right now?”

“She doesn’t hate you, Xander,” she sighs and walks over to sit next to me, where sh pats my leg with motherly affection.

Everyone seems to have sat down in a circle in the living room, looking ready to hash out this shitstorm, so I inwardly brace myself for it. If there was a chance of never having to talk about any of it ever again, I’d sign up straight away, but I can’t. Things need to be sorted and that means discussing awkward subjects.

“She’s a mother who has lost her only daughter. You’re going to realize how hard that would be if it ever happened to you. They’re booking flights over and will let us know when they’ll be back. I’ve offered to go and sort the house out for them.”

“I’ll help you,” Casey offers almost straight away.

“Thanks, Case,” Mom smiles at her.

I don’t think it’s lost on anyone how much my sister has changed in the last six months. She’s no longer the look-at-me girl who demands attention whether you want to give it or not, and I’m proud of how much she’s grown up.

“They want to hold a memorial and I’ve said we’ll help?” She looks to me for some sort of reaction, but I don’t know what to give her. Of course, I want to remember Beth for the love of my life that she…was. But I don’t want to acknowledge it and make it real; it hurts too damn much for me to accept any of it right now.

“And, of course, they want to meet little Rosalie here. She’s not angry about you keeping her secret, Xander, she understands why, and is grateful to you for trying to keep her as safe as possible.”

I hold Rosalie a little bit closer when a painful thought occurs, a worry that her family might want to take my daughter away from me. My father seems to read my mind and places one of his large hands on of my shoulder with a look that’s telling me not to worry.

“No one is coming to take her away, Xander, that little girl is all yours. But you gotta let us help you, son. Let her forge relationships with all her family, including Beth’s.”

“As long as they understand that she’s mine; mine and Beth’s. I won’t let her go for anyone, and I’ll fight anyone who tries to take her away from me!”

“I have a suggestion.” Stephen’s voice has been missing for a while, so when he finally speaks, it makes me jump. “It was always my intention to hand the reins of my company over to Xander one day. Casey, you are welcome too, this isn’t about some male heir crap. I just figured you weren’t-”

“Interested?” She grins as she shakes her head. “Not in the slightest. Sorry, Unc.”

“No offense taken,” he smiles, putting up his hands defensively, “I have set up shares for you, so financially, it belongs to both of you. Xander, if you want it, my offer still stands.”

“Thank you, Stephen, really,” I reply with a long sigh, “but I’m not sure I’ll be able to with this little lady. My time is going to be a little bit wrapped up in trying to be a father. I’ll need to get a job and fast!”

“Come and live with me!” he blurts out and we all look up in shock at him. “I’ll sort the place out and make it a little more child-friendly.” He continues with renewed enthusiasm as though this is a complete spur-of-the moment decision, one that is making more and more sense to him as he goes on. “I’ll take down the photos and make it a little less of a shrine to Shelly.”

He then looks to the floor sadly, and I feel a lump of emotion gather painfully in my throat, a feeling he’s probably sharing with me as fresh memories come to the forefront of his mind. But he then seems to shake it off and pull himself back together before continuing to give me his sales pitch.

“You can get a part-time job at the bottom and study while you let us help you with Rosalie.”

Everyone’s eyes move back to mine, and I feel a mounting pressure inside of my chest, not really knowing what to do or say for the best.

“Er, wow, Stephen, I don’t know what to say,” I reply, feeling a genuine surge of gratitude toward this man; a guy who has suffered as I have and has done nothing but support me. I look down to Rosalie for answers she can’t possibly give, but because this involves her too, I feel like I need to.

“Don’t answer me now, it isn’t the right time. But think about it when you’re up to it,” he offers, and I sigh a breath of relief.

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