Page 33 of Save You

“Hmmm, no, I like it!” he says decidedly and seals it with a kiss to my cheek. “Course, you know it will be a boy now that we have a name for a girl.”

“Well, I’ll leave that one up to you then,” I grin smugly, “I came up with the girl’s name!”

“As long as he or she is healthy, and so are you, I don’t mind!”

His words have me turning to face him, where we kiss for a long time in the soft glow of our bedroom light. It’s providing the only luminosity as it shines through into the living room where we remain swaying to the guitar solo.

The sun isn’t even beginning to come up when we wake to the sound of Xander’s shrill alarm clock. I mutter a curse of some sort to him, even though I know he only wants to leave this early so he can get back to me within two days. I cuddle his pillows when he climbs out to go and shower before getting dressed. I end up snoozing for another half an hour before he nudges me to say that he’s leaving. Last night he had packed the car, only to then unpack it and declare he wasn’t going. After a pointed look and a tantrum from yours truly, he finally relented and loaded it up again, only this time, he had to listen to me laughing over his ridiculousness.

Now that he’s kissing me goodbye, part of me wishes I had kept my big mouth shut and let him stay with me. However, it is what it is, and I know he needs to see Casey, even if I’m now left feeling cold and lonely as I watch him drive away. A shiver of fear runs through me just as the wind catches my raggedy hair, still unbrushed after sleep. I indulge in the uncomfortable feeling for a moment or two, staring at the empty space where the car was just sat. Before my tears can hit me, I force myself to go inside and begin my usual morning routine.

When I put the TV on, I purposefully choose something comical and light-hearted; something I won’t have to think too carefully about. I then boil the kettle, as well as readying a mug and teabag to make a large brew for myself, smiling when I think about Xander’s repulsed reaction whenever I offer him a cup. I know he hates it, but I can’t help myself.

While the teabag sits in the steaming mug of water, releasing swirls of amber dye, I take the opportunity to have my sixth pee of the day. My ever-growing stomach has been feeling tight and painful, no doubt the cause of baby Fenton kicking, or lying against my bladder. The release is almost orgasmic, but when I wipe, I see distinct spots of blood, all bright red and contrasting starkly against the whiteness of the toilet paper. My mouth drops open in shock as I stare at it, stupidly hoping that if I look hard enough, it won’t be there anymore.

Getting over the horror of seeing blood where it shouldn’t be, I eventually shake it off and decide to go and check it out in one of Carol’s antenatal books. Of course, all they tell me to do is phone my physician if there is any kind of bleeding. Something I positively cannot do without alerting my former psychotic fiancé of my whereabouts. So, with that in mind, I ignore this advice and read on, hoping to find something more useful and reassuring.

The book talks about having a ‘show’ and explains that this is what I had read about last night; the ghastly description of the ‘mucus plug’ coming free in the lead up to labor. I inwardly panic, telling myself that it’s far too early and that giving birth without Xander is a hard pass.

Grabbing my phone, I scroll through my contacts, most of which I haven’t used in months, but when I find Xander’s name flashing up at me, I falter. If I call him, he’ll only come back, and it could be for nothing. Surely, it’s better to call Carol and get some professional advice before stopping him in his tracks, so that’s exactly what I do. Only when I call her, no one picks up.

I try another two times before I put it back down and begin chewing anxiously on my thumbnail.

“Tea, Beth,” I say out loud, “just have some tea, watch daytime crap, then try again!”

After watching two reruns of Friends, I give Carol another try, while chanting a little ‘pick up, pick up’ song inside of my head, like it will somehow influence her response.

“Hi, Beth,” she finally answers, sounding rather out of breath, “sorry, I was running. What’s up? Are you ok?”

“Er, well, it’s probably nothing, but I’m kind of bleeding,” I tell her with a wince. Saying it out loud makes it sound even worse than it did inside of my head. “And Xander has gone to see his sister in hospital for a few days, so I’m here…alone.”

“Right, I’m on my way!” she says in such a way, it instantly makes me feel even more anxious. “Don’t do anything strenuous, just sit tight.”

“Should I be worried?” I gasp, chewing on my thumbnail again. “I don’t want to call Xander and take him away from his sister, but should I?”

“Ultimately, that’s your call,” she replies rather unhelpfully, “but I can always come over and assess the situation first.”

“Ok, yeah, let’s do that then,” I nod, feeling much better with a plan in place.

“I’m going to be about an hour,” she informs me, sounding like she’s begun running again, “try not to worry. Grab a book and lie down or watch some TV or something. I’ll be there as soon as I can, ok?”

I’m still nodding even though I am very much worrying. Of course, I’m worrying!

“Beth, you there?”

“Oh, right, yes, sorry, ok then. See you in an hour.”

Dizziness plagues me when I hear the tone that signals that she’s hung up. I then get a horrible feeling of needing the loo again, probably because I’ve already drunk two liters of tea this morning. I hobble to the toilet and reluctantly pull down my bottoms, only to find a small puddle of blood resting inside the gusset of my knickers. I gasp loudly, covering my mouth with both hands as tears begin to swell at the bottom of my eyes. Before I can come to terms with what I’m now staring at in horror, my stomach pain intensifies, to the point whereby I need to clutch hold of it to try and relieve some of the pressure.

I moan out loud and pull myself upward, deciding it’s come to a point whereby I need to call Xander back home, regardless of Casey’s situation. This isn’t right. There’s way too much blood to be the mucus plug; something is obviously wrong.

Cautiously, I stand up to my full height and take a small step toward the door. No sooner than I have done so, a crippling pain attacks my abdomen and I double over. It’s so agonizing, I kneel to the floor and let out a howl of agony. I quickly come to the realization that I’m no longer able to move from the bathroom. In fact, I’m unable to do anything but lie on the bathroom tiles and wait for Carol. I proceed to take in deep breaths for a few moments before I feel a warm trickle dribbling down my thigh. It takes every ounce of effort to move my head to look down, but when I do, I shriek with horror. After, I fall into uncontrollable whimpering, for all I can see is a crimson stream of blood flowing down my leg.

Another burst of warm liquid comes out of me, feeling like a heavy period leaking all over the floor, and with it, all my energy. My vision begins to blur, and soon after, I am met with an all-encompassing blackness as I fall under a veil of something that feels like death.

Chapter 13

Xander

---