Page 27 of Save You

I glance up at Xander’s skeptical expression, grinning in encouragement. He huffs and begins shifting through a collection of board books before settling on one and getting up to lie beside me, where his face rests on my chest so he can read to my ever-growing bump. Even with Carol still in the room, he begins reading and putting on goofy voices for the characters, proving how much of a great dad he’s going to be.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Carol smiles with dopey eyes staring at Xander, who is both beautiful and loveable. “I’ll be back in a month to six weeks. We need to put a plan in place for the birth.”

She walks away and as soon as I hear the door bang closed from the front of the cabin, I allow my fear to seep in. I begin to have a silent panic attack over the thought of trying to squeeze a tiny person out with only Carol to help me, and without pain relief or medical care, should there be an emergency. I feel out of my depth, and whereas before I could leave it for my future self to worry about, that future self will soon be me, and I still have no answers.

“Is this having any effect?” Xander sighs, inadvertently breaking me out of my little mountain of stress.

“Hmm, what?” I mumble around my thoroughly chewed thumbnail. “Oh, yeah, definitely.”

“Liar!” He smirks and moves around so he is spooning me, one of the few positions that’s still comfortable in my current state. He places his hands softly over my bump and giggles when he feels a few tiny kicks from inside.

“I know you’re scared, I am too, but we’ll get through this together. When the baby’s born, we can make plans to join your folks over in England.”

“I know,” I smile half-heartedly, and reach up to run my fingers through the soft hair on his chin, “just seems so far away from now, and yet so close too.” He doesn’t say anything but begins kissing me on my temple, down my jaw, and into the crook of my neck.

“Make love to me?”

“Was going to,” he whispers with a grin in his voice.

Within moments, he slides into me, and we rock gently back and forth together, with me clinging onto every second, knowing that soon he won’t want to. I can understand, he feels weird about doing this while I’m carrying a child inside of me, but at least I’m not too big at the moment. As I moan out his name from an intense release, he kisses and nibbles at my shoulder.

When it becomes too much, I push his hand away from where he’s massaging me. He then begins to up his movements, hard and fast until another wave of pleasure begins to build up inside of me. There are some things from pregnancy I will miss; the intensity of having sex with him definitely being one of them. From his breathing and gentle hissing, I can tell he’s close too, so I open my legs wider to help him move from behind, and we fall together. His forehead rests against my dark hair and his hands move up to wrap around my chest, pulling me even closer to him. I don’t know why, but it makes me tear up. I guess my emotions are becoming too strong to hold in. Xander doesn’t ask what’s wrong, he just kisses one of my tears away and tells me he loves me. I say it back, having never meant any other words more than I do now.

Xander

It’s late and I’ve left Beth sleeping inside of the cabin while I go outside, in the dead of night, to call my uncle. It’s been three weeks since I last spoke to him, so I’ve been quietly optimistic that all is remaining calm and well. Surely if something was wrong, he would have called me. However, un-beknown to me, my optimism is about to come crashing down.

“I had a visitor a few days ago,” he says before he’s even said hello, “Beth’s grandfather, Carl Steele.”

“Fuck!” I hiss into the cold night air, with a billow of condensation swirling out of my mouth as I speak.

“Yeah, exactly. He offered me ten mill to give up your whereabouts.”

“What did you tell him?” I ask, holding my fist to my mouth in anticipation.

“Told him I didn’t know where either of you were, but if I did, I would encourage you to give yourselves up.”

“Did he buy it?”

“Nope,” he replies bluntly, “but what could he do? They have nothing on me, even with their PIs following me around.”

“They’ve got people on you?” I gasp, now fighting the need to throw up. “How are you talking to me now?”

“Relax, I’m safe, but don’t call unless you have to.”

“Ok, no, right,” I nod, facing the dark forest in front of me, probably looking like a crazy person.

“Xander…I’m not the only one being followed,” he sighs, “Casey and your parents are being tailed too; them and that surfer guy.” I clench my fists in frustration, pacing around to try and shift some of the anxiety working through my body. “They’re fine; they know nothing, but just keep it that way. How’s Beth?”

“She’s ok, but I’m worried. She’s terrified!”

“Well, rightly so,” he says matter of factly, “but it’s your job to try and keep her as calm as you can. You do not want premature labor caused by stress. You don’t have the luxury of a hospital to go to if things get complicated. Stay cool, both of you!”

“We will,” I force out through gritted teeth. I suddenly feel the heavy weight of my own fear but know that I have to be the one who remains strong, no matter what. “Look after Casey, won’t you; promise me!”

“Of course, you don’t even need to ask, Xander, she’s my niece!” I nod my head even though no one is here to see me, least of all my uncle. “Take care of Beth and I’ll take care of the rest; you have my word.”

“Thanks, I’ll call you when I need to. Take care.”

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