Page 47 of Never Yours

“I’m ready.” I’m not.

Ingrid’s irises are wide, but not with fear, with worry. I did this to her. “Cay,” she says lovingly but hesitantly takes my cheek in her hand, “I’m here. What do you need?”

My mind pulls me from darkness and brings me to her, and the last night we spent together. I don’t need to touch her, be inside her, or taste her.

I just need… “You.”

ingrid

. . .

That’s a big fucking ask.

You?

What does he mean?

I thought I was clear about the whole not marrying because of a child part, but apparently, I wasn’t. Surely, he can’t mean he wants to fuck me; I’m the size of an elephant. How could he want that? We haven’t seen each other in six months, and he just freaked out about a plane overhead.

I’ve heard about men coming back from wars and missions, with a diagnosis list a mile long. Even Pop warned me Cay might be different. I should’ve seen the signs when we were in the gymnasium—the bags under his eyes, his reaction to finding out we’re having a girl… He hasn’t slept in who the fuck knows how long.

“Cay, you’re safe,” Pop insists, keeping his hands firmly on Caleb’s shoulders.

With one hand bracing himself against the wall and his other on my belly, Caleb’s eyes pierce me with a swirl of love and fear. “Not until they’re safe.”

“Rogers. You’re safe. Ingrid’s safe. Your child is safe,” Pop commands, making Caleb’s posture rigid.

I hate that this is his military response and instinctively wrap my arms around his middle. I keep my cheek pressed against his chest until his heart rate slows. I then softly reassure him, “You’re safe. I’m here. Our baby is safe… You’re safe, Caleb.”

He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“What do you feel?” I repeat Pop's words and place his hand back onto my belly.

“Our daughter,” he sighs against me.

“We’re safe. You made sure we’re safe.”

“I love you… so much.”

The desperation in his voice pierces my heart with a thousand daggers. I don’t know what he’s going through, all of this is foreign to me. This isn’t the Caleb I’ve known or the one I fell for. I need him back. “What do you need, Cay?”

“You. I need home.”

What I thought would be a sweet, picturesque moment seeing each other today, has ended up with the strongest man I’ve known pleading for my safety, which already exists. He’ll need help, more than I can give, but the best I’ve got right now is to get him far away from anything that might set off an episode like he just experienced.

“Cass,” I whimper, “can you make sure our room is ready?”

Pop replies before she does, “I already checked in on the app. We can use our phones to unlock the door.”

“Since when are you tech-savvy?” Cass laughs.

I can’t help the small laugh that escapes me, even though Caleb’s face is still buried in my neck. “Did you hear that? Your dad figured out an app all by himself. No reading glasses required.”

“Hey!” Pop teases.

“Cay, whenever you’re ready, we can leave,” I say softly.

“One more minute.”

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