Page 94 of Lord of Ruin

“Demon, huh?”

“We all have them, Stavros, but yours involves a woman. I can feel her presence when you’re at your angriest.”

“You are a very intuitive woman, which drives me crazy.”

“Which is why you’re starting to love me.” Her eyes opened wide after making the statement. As if her words would shock me. In truth, she was right. Love. There was that damn word again.

Her plea was so goddamn heartfelt that I was angry with myself all over again. “Her name was Amara. We met when I was barely twenty-one. I was in college and thought I had the whole world at my fingertips. I was already being groomed to take the second position of power in my family, what some would call the prince-hood. That was just fine by me. It allowed me to be a playboy and enjoy my life when Phoenix was molded on a daily basis.”

“She was the love of your life,” Jenna offered.

“I thought so. We were inseparable. She went to the same college and we had a love of pizza together and BDSM.”

“Now, that’s a combination.”

“She introduced me to the lifestyle, including taking me to my first kink club. I’d thought she was young and innocent. She helped me embrace my dominating sadistic side while she explored the reasons she craved pain. Intense pain. But everything began to unravel when she knew I’d fallen for her. The ugliness became overwhelming.”

“She lied to you.”

“About everything. What I didn’t know was that she’d been using me the entire time. She wasn’t twenty-one. She wasn’t really a student at the university and her parents certainly hadn’t been bankers.”

“She was an enemy.” She shook her head. “Oh, God.”

“Exactly. I’d gone to Columbia University in New York to get as far away from my family as I was allowed. I wanted no part of my father’s world, but others didn’t see it that way. My father was amassing a fortune by then, taking business away from the Italians in New York because my father was a fair man. The Italian mob didn’t like it, sending in their daughter to eventually provide family trade secrets. She was good at what she did, barely asking anything about my family for over three months, maybe four. But when we started to get closer, she began trying to discover information. By then I was already in love with her. I’d even purchased a ring. Can you believe that? I hadn’t reached fucking twenty-two years old and I was going to propose on Valentine’s Day.”

I laughed bitterly thinking about how young and naïve I’d been.

“I’m so sorry. How did you find out who she was?”

“Phoenix dropped by school to let me know after I refused to accept his warning over the phone. I’d told him I was going to marry her, and my father insisted on doing a background check. That led to learning who she was. I was so angry with both of them that I was determined not only to prove them wrong but also to leave the family for good, taking the woman I loved with me.”

She continued rubbing my back. “Women can be bitches.”

“Yeah, I found her at a club we went to sometimes, dancing with a bunch of different guys. Mafia guys. I confronted her after she acted like she didn’t want to talk to me. I even popped the question right there. I learned very quickly my brother was right and she hadn’t cared about me. We argued. She tried to run, I followed. We argued again, including on the street corner. I grabbed her arm after she called me a stupid Greek and she jerked it away with enough force she tumbled off the street corner into the street, immediately hit by a truck.”

Gasping, Jenna clasped her hand over her mouth.

“She died instantly and I’ve felt guilty and angry ever since. Why? Well, maybe my sister was right in who I am underneath the armor. I know it was a long time ago, but given Amara was the daughter of an Italian mob leader, it put significant strain on our family, my father’s business, and our safety. It was ugly for almost a year, threats made, shots fired, my brother almost losing his life to protect me.”

“Oh, my God.”

“It was the worst time in my family’s lives. I was to blame.”

“You were a young man,” she insisted.

“Who was taught as a small child to know better. Now, aren’t you sorry you asked?”

“No. You weren’t to blame for what happened no matter what you think.”

“It was the last time I felt anything for a woman, other than basic primal needs.”

“That was almost twenty years ago.” She touched my face, her fingertips brushing in such a loving way that my heart thudded rapidly.

I laughed, the sound bitter and hollow. “I know but I did a damn good job of convincing myself I needed no one. Then you came along.” I turned to face her. “And even if she’d been who she portrayed herself to be, she wasn’t the love of my life. You are.”

She seemed surprised by my admittance, perhaps as much as I was. I was shocked how close I felt to her, how much I did want her in my life. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” I pulled her close, kissing the top of her forehead. “Why don’t we get something to eat? You have to be hungry.”

---