Page 169 of State of Suspense

“I want to hear more about you and Roni. Tell me everything. Well, the PG parts.”

“It’s all PG so far, which is fine. She only lost her husband about six months ago, and neither of us was looking for anything…” He shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. “At first, I thought she was stalking me.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, and she kinda was. Apparently, I look a bit like her late husband from behind, and she started following me. After everything with Vic, I’m extra paranoid and confronted her at the coffee shop we both like. That’s when she told me I look like her late husband from behind and that being a widow has made her weird, which I certainly understood. I ran into her at a meeting of a widow group I’ve belonged to for a while now, and then she showed up here as Sam’s communications director. After all of that, how could we not be friends, you know?”

“I love that for both of you. Sam does, too.”

“It’s been… well, kind of amazing, actually. Maeve is crazy about her, and Roni is so great with her. It’s all quite effortless, even if it’s probably way too soon for her. But it’s not like we were out there looking for this. It just kind of happened.”

“That’s the way it should be. No one deserves happiness more than you two do.”

“I’m feeling truly optimistic for the first time since Vic died.”

“I love to hear that.”

“Life is so very strange sometimes.”

“And wonderful, too.”

“Yeah, for sure. It’s nice to have some of the wonderful after a whole lot of awful.”

“I hope you know how much we all admire you for the way you’ve survived the unimaginable.”

“What choice did I have? Maeve needed me, and I had to step up for her.”

“You and I both know if you’d told your parents that you couldn’t handle it, they would’ve been there.”

“That never occurred to me, although I wouldn’t have survived without their help.”

“I can’t wait to dance at your wedding.”

Derek laughed. “Don’t get too far ahead of me. Roni has me strictly in the friend zone until at least October, which will be the one-year anniversary of her husband’s death. In the meantime, I’m supporting her through her pregnancy and becoming more captivated by the day.”

“She’s not going to suddenly balk when she decides it’s all too soon, is she?”

“I don’t think so. We’ve talked a lot about it, and she seems pretty committed. That’s one of the things I love best about her. We talk about everything. Nothing is off the table. She’s made me realize how little I gave to Vic.”

“That’s not true. You gave her everything.”

“No, I really didn’t. I thought I did, but with hindsight, I see that I held back a lot because I was too focused on work and not present enough with her.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true. I’ve had a lot of time for self-reflection since I lost her the way I did, and it makes me sad to realize how disconnected I was in so many ways.”

“I think you’ve always done the best you could.”

“Roni has helped me to see that I can do way better. I like who I am with her.” He stood. “I’ll let you get back to work. Thanks for listening.”

“I’m glad we got a chance to catch up.” Nick stood to give his friend a quick hug. “I’m so, so happy for you and Roni.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know what I hear from Jennings and look into Worthy.”

“Keep that on the deepest possible down-low.”

“Will do.”

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