Page 75 of Stay

Cole sits next to me. “Food will be here in twenty.”

He had to wipe down the floor where I’d squirted. “I can’t believe I made such a big mess like that.”

“Not gonna lie. That was impressive.” He slides me onto his lap. Cole is always getting his hands on me one way or another—lacing our fingers together, hugging, hooking his arm around my shoulder, sitting me on his lap. I never got affection growing up, so it took a lot of getting used to when Cole and I first hooked up.

It’s not that I didn’t like it. It was just different, I guess. But after a month of him constantly touching me, I was addicted. If he didn’t touch, hug, or hold me, I’d think he was mad at me for something and would worry about what I did wrong. It was something else I had to work through.

Lately, however, I’m just as touchy-feely. Leaning back against his chest, I run my nails up and down his forearm. “When did you get all those new toys?”

“Last week.” He rests his chin on my shoulder. “I was going to wait until Christmas to give them to you.”

Speaking of… “I have another surprise for you.”

Cole’s chuckle rumbles against me. “If it’s you in another outfit like that candy cane one, give me a minute to prepare myself. You got no business looking that fine in a headband and anal plug, Angel.”

“Thanks.” Knowing I turn Cole on is a big deal to me. “But it’s not an outfit.” Climbing off his lap, I ignore his fake pout and go over to the pink Christmas tree and grab the little bag I stashed behind it. “I didn’t get a chance to wrap it, but…” I sit down next to him. “Close your eyes.”

He gives me a “what are you up to now” look before shutting his peepers.

“Hold out your hand.” I place the gift in his palm. “Okay, you can look now.”

His brow furrows. “What the hell is this?”

“Hear me out.” Excited, I get up on my knees and face him. “It’s our new tradition.”

Cole stares at the ugly ornament again.

“Every year, we’re going to find the ugliest, tackiest ornament we can find.” I point at my tree. “And hang it on that thing.”

He leans back. “Every year?”

“Until we die.” I hope he understands that this is, yet again, another gesture of my love. Another promise that I’m here to stay. “Do you love it?”

Cole stares at the blobfish made of blown glass, then drags his gaze back to me. His expression softens. “Yeah, I love it, Haley.”

He goes over and hangs the ornament on the tree. Then backs away, staring at it. “I think that thing’s going to give me nightmares.”

“Imagine what the whole tree will look like in a decade. Our kids will be traumatized.”

We both start laughing, then he realizes what I just said and sobers quickly.

“Kids, huh?” Cole sits back down next to me.

I shrug. “Maybe?” We’re nowhere near that topic of conversation in our relationship yet, but might as well put it out there for the future. “I remember you saying you want a bunch.”

He doesn’t look at me. “Yeah, I did.”

“Did… as in you don’t now?” My heart deflates a little.

“I’m not sure what I want,” he says quietly.

“Oh.” My stomach drops.

Cole tips my chin, forcing me to look at him. “But I know whatever it is, I want it with you.”

Tears fill my eyes and I blink them back. “I’ve either sprung a leak or I’m getting soft.” I widen my eyes so the tears don’t fall and push away the embarrassment of looking vulnerable and scared of rejection. “Get back, feelings. Stay on the inside.”

“It’s okay to show your emotions, Haley. I promise it won’t hurt you.”

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