Page 21 of Stay

“Such a good girl.”

Jenna gave me a purple orchid for my birthday three years ago. According to her, it’s great practice at committing, without the burden of having to clean up after it. Orchids require patience, maintenance, and nurturing.

I suck at all three. At least I used to.

“She’s got six blooms on her this time.”

“Woo hoo!” Another phone rings in the background and Jenna gives me an uh oh, I gotta get back to work face. “Gotta run.”

“Okay. Hey, thanks for sending Courtney my way.”

“Anything for you, woman. You know I love you.”

“Love you too.”

We hang up, and impatience has me pulling up Cole’s text again.

Haley: Do you have dinner plans tonight?

I’m coming on too strong and I know it, but I can’t bring myself to care. I feel frenzied and scared and I just need a little flicker of fucking hope here, damnit.

Cole: Yes. Sorry.

My stomach drops. There goes that.

I can’t be upset about this. It isn’t fair. I’ve been MIA for a long time and to drop into his life and expect things to go right back to how they were is so immature and stupid of me. I should be grateful he’s seeing me at all. Part of me worried he was going to toss me out of his office this morning.

Haley: Np.

I set my phone on the coffee table and scrub my face. “Pull yourself together, Haley.”

I need to move slower. Let things evolve naturally. I can’t take this personally. He’s got a life here. I’m a burden. I’m the problem.

Stop. Part of my be-better journey is recognizing when I’m getting toxic—with myself and others. Letting my past influence my present is not allowed. Yes, he has a life here. No, I’m not a burden. I’m not a problem for him, I’m a hopeful possibility. And if he doesn’t want me, that’s okay. I’m only partially here for him. I’m also here for myself, damnit.

My cell dings again.

Cole: How about tomorrow instead?

Chapter 7

Cole

I’ll be honest. I have no clue what to expect out of this dinner with Haley, so I’ve come prepared for the best- and worst - case scenarios.

The Screaming Pelican is crammed with people at the bar. The restaurant side isn’t much better, but I snag us a booth in the back.

Haley steps in, her cheeks rosy from the wind chill and she’s all bundled up in a purple scarf and black puffy coat that hits her knees. She waves at me with this big, beautiful grin that makes me melt.

Jesus, how can I go back to feeling this way for her?

Easy. I never stopped feeling this way for her.

Standing up, I give her a hug before she strips out of her coat and says, “This place looks so fun!”

I ease back into my seat across from her. When she scoots into her side of the booth, her boobs bounce. My girl’s got phenomenal tits. They’re huge, heavy, and so fun to fuck. I remember them well.

She catches me staring and spares me the call out. “What’s good here?”

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