Page 58 of Click

“Go on.”

“I got a new sub last week. She’s…” Amazing, sweet, spectacular. “Fun.”

“Fun is good.” Caution laces my old mentor’s voice. “Fun is important.”

My confession flies out of me. “I’ve-broken-nearly-every-rule-I-have.” Standing up, I pace like a caged jaguar in my studio. “She was new on K!nkLink. I didn’t even think to research her first before sending her contract. Then we just clicked. I can’t even describe it.”

“I fail to see the problem.”

“I’ve broken every rule in the book. And I do mean every fucking rule, Ryker.”

Silence stretches through our cellphones. It makes me feel guilty. I want to punch something.

My own nuts would be a perfect target.

“Did you hurt her?” Ryker’s tone is edgy and dark with aggression.

I stop short. “What? No, asshole, of course not!”

“Then you didn’t break every rule in the book.”

“I gripped her wrists.” Thinking about it now makes me feel sick. “They were red afterwards.”

“As wrists often get when something’s around them. How did she react to it?”

“She said it was fine.”

“Do you believe her?”

“Yes.” Mak would have said something if she wasn’t okay with it. “She’s vocal and sincere. And she likes it rough. She said it didn’t bother her at all, but it bothers the fuck out of me.” I never dreamed I’d get this way about something so trivial, but here we are.

Ryker clears his throat. “Aside from her wrists, what else is eating at you, Carson?”

Too many things. “I didn’t go slow. She’s new and I moved like she’s not.”

“And what happened?”

“She dropped hard and fast the first time. I didn’t even know her comforts for aftercare. I had to wing it.” Something that I’ll never forgive myself for, honestly.

“And the second time? I assume there’s been more than one.”

“She initiated it.”

Silence over the line again.

“And?” Ryker finally asks.

“I lost my self-control.” Admitting that out loud makes me want to jump out the fucking window. “That’s when I hurt her wrists.”

“Hurt is not the same as redden. You know this.”

I don’t need Ryker splitting hairs on the subject. “I don’t like that I did that to her.”

“Then work harder on your control. Being protective is very much a part of your nature, Carson. I still don’t…” He pauses and I hold my breath. There’s a reason I called Ryker and not Trey or Glitch or anyone else I’m close to. “Describe her to me.”

There it is. He knows why I’m downward spiraling. “Five foot tall, about a hundred-twenty pounds.”

“Mmm hmm.”

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