Page 74 of Pucks and Coffee

I move past Coleson to where a bottle of water is sitting on the desk, opening it to take a long pull. I feel his gaze on me, and when I glance over at my husband, he looks worried. I hold his gaze until he finally says, “How do you know someone sent her?”

I give him a pointed look. “Are you saying you did hire her?”

“Not at all, but you seem pretty confident I wouldn’t.”

“’Cause I am,” I say simply, leaning my hip on the desk. “You wouldn’t hurt me like that.”

Coleson nods thoughtfully. “But can’t you see that you’re the only one who feels that way?”

“No. We feel that way. And my sisters, they know you’re a good guy.”

He rolls his eyes. “Because of you.”

“I don’t know why we’re arguing. What’s wrong?” I ask incredulously. “I’m not upset or even concerned about her. Why are you upset?”

“Because I don’t deserve you, Eliza!” he roars, but I don’t react to his outburst. I just hold his gaze, glaring that he’s raised his voice for no reason.

“And yelling that at me makes it better?”

“Eliza,” he warns, holding out his hands. “Don’t you see? I’m trash. I have random women who show up because they were hired by someone to make me look bad. You do realize that I would have let her in before.”

“Before,” I say, enunciating each syllable. “Before me. Not now.”

His face is red, his eyes wild as they bore into mine. “How can you be so confident in that?”

“Because you haven’t done anything to make me think otherwise,” I say matter-of-factly.

“But my past, Eliza… I am never going to be able to leave it where it’s supposed to be. Can’t you see that?”

I blink, then inhale before crossing my arms over my chest. “And can’t you see that I don’t give a shit? I don’t care about your past or who is trying to set you up, because I trust you. I love you, Coleson. What don’t you understand!”

“I am not good enough for you.”

“Oh my God, stop with that. Do you know how much of a turn-off it is to see you do this to yourself? Stop channeling the part of you that has been hurt, and channel my strong, alpha, sexy, hockey-playing husband instead. Because while I love both sides of you, the latter part knows the truth.”

Something flashes in his eyes as he watches me, and I feel like time stands still. It’s such a pivotal moment in our relationship. He could close himself off from me or take what I am trying so desperately to give him.

My whole being.

Quietly, I step toward him, taking his waist in my hands and bringing him flush to my body. He towers over me, but he wraps his arms around my neck and leans his head down to rest on top of mine.

“I know you’ve been hurt by the two people who should have loved you unconditionally. I can’t fix what they did. All I can do is love you, unconditionally, and replace the memories of how they never loved you right with the promises of how I will.” I run my hands up his stomach to his chest, pleading with my eyes. “I know my worth, Coleson. I have spent years of my life in one kind of pain or another. I never thought I’d know love because all I knew was abuse and heartache. But getting away from that cult, being surrounded by my family, and now you…I want to live. I want to love. You. Only you. You haven’t given me one lick of pain that I didn’t beg for.”

His lips curve gently before he closes his eyes. “I’m scared, Wife.”

I squeeze his sides. “Let me in.”

Coleson exhales unsteadily and then presses his lips together as a stricken look takes over his features. His jaw is tight, the planes of his face showing the same strain, yet I’ve never seen a more handsome man in all my life.

“She played him—like a fucking puck. At every turn, she used his love to her advantage and to reap the benefits, but she didn’t give him any love back. It was like that with me, too. She’d dangle her love in front of us like a carrot, and we’d both do anything to get it. But she never truly intended to give it to us.”

I know who she was. His mom. That horrible excuse for a woman who gave birth to the man I love.

“We were just pawns in her game. A means to an end. And she broke my dad so thoroughly that he was worthless to me after she was gone. She never wanted me and blamed him for knocking her up. For burdening her with someone like me.”

Can I kill his mom? I don’t think I can, but damn if I don’t want to. “You aren’t a burden, Coleson. You are incredible, smart as a whip, talented, and so damn gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to be a part of your life.”

“She never thought so.”

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