Page 85 of The Guy in the Alley

We didn’t have any leftovers I could heat up for him, so I prepared two sandwiches for his lunch box, and I emptied the coffeepot into his travel mug.

By the time Ben emerged in the doorway, tucking his tee into his utility pants, I’d inhaled a waffle and made one for him too, since we hadn’t finished the ones from before.

“I hope two turkey sandwiches will work,” I said. “We should buy groceries tomorrow.”

“I can go by Aldi’s tomorrow after work.” He came over and hugged me from behind, and he buried his face against my neck. “Fuck, you smell like us.”

He smelled like our body wash.

I shivered and tilted my head back, and he took the hint and kissed me.

Wasn’t this much better? Kissing and fucking and touching instead of…pretending we were just friends?

“I’m losing my mind over you, Trace.” He tightened his hold on me, and I let the relief and joy roll over me. “You didn’t have to make me lunch.”

“I wanted to.” I turned around in his embrace and locked my arms around his neck. “I want you to keep losing your mind over me too, so we can quit acting like this is casual.”

He took a deep breath and rested his forehead to mine, and he closed his eyes.

I felt the need to continue before he could let his fears do the talking.

I scratched the back of his head lightly. “Every time you share a glimpse of your creativity—what you could do with this place—you add stuff like, if that’s your thing, or, if you’d like… Or like the other day, when I was bitching about the coffee table being too far away. You said you could build me one of those tables you roll over the bed. Build me one of those tables.” I kissed his nose. “The problem is, all these ideas—I mean, I get it. I know you’re worried and just wanna make sure you’re useful. Which is something we should talk about later, ’cause it’s dumb.”

He exhaled a laugh through his nose.

“But I don’t want that table for me, Ben,” I continued. “I don’t care about the stupid built-in shelves or the fire escape green bean plants—if they’re just for me. I want them for us, ’cause…you make this place feel more like a home. But it means you gotta share it with me.”

Knowing he had to get to work, I had to wrap things up. This hadn’t been my plan anyway; I was supposed to reel him in slowly until he had no other option but to succumb to my charms. But here we were. He’d made me fucking talk.

“Look. Go to work,” I murmured. “I don’t wanna freak you out further by throwing details into the mix, but trust me—I got them. I’m not taking any of this lightly, and I know your situation. I know your priorities.”

He cupped my face and kissed me hard. “Trace, the only thing that freaks me out is losing this. Nothing I feel about you is casual or temporary, okay?”

I smiled into the kiss, but my stomach was a fucking mess of frazzled nerves. ’Cause now I had to go all day wondering if he was going to talk himself into this rocky start of what I hoped was the rest of our lives.

“We’ll talk more tonight?” he asked.

I nodded and kissed him again.

“For the record,” he said. “In the time I’ve known you, I’ve set up countless boundaries to protect myself from getting sucked into your world, and I failed each time. I’m not going anywhere because I can’t go a day without seeing you.”

Well, fuck me over, that worked. I let out an unsteady breath, and I mustered a shaky grin. Was this really happening? He was on board? He couldn’t go a day without seeing me?

We stood a chance.

* * *

Just parked.

Now I was nervous again.

I pocketed my phone and removed my apron, then signaled to Jamaal. “You ready to take over for a bit?”

He smirked and jerked his chin at his old man and Jerry. “Yeah, I think I can handle this crowd.”

Fair, fair. It was pretty slow at this early-bird hour. About a dozen tables were full, and Jamaal would have one more by his side soon enough. This early in the service, there was no need to make a reservation.

I thanked him and ignored Malcolm’s catcalling. That was what I got for having half jokingly said I was meeting my future man’s family today.

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