Page 7 of Jasper

She laughs. "Are you two living together yet? I know you had an apartment over the top of Get Baked."

"I'm moving out this weekend, everyone's helping. So we haven't spent any time together yet, really. I think we're both trying to avoid it." Everyone already knows why he had to get married. At least if they know him well enough, and I'm almost positive the news will make its way around town as soon as others are able to talk.

She props her chin up on her hand. "I do have a question, Daisy. What's in this for you? Everyone knows why he did it. Why did you?"

That's the million-dollar question. One I haven't even looked closely enough at myself to answer. "For a good portion of my life, he was one of my best friends. I know how much the foundation means to him, and I could help, so why wouldn't I?"

Penny squints as she looks at me. "I kind of think there's more going on than that, but if that's the answer we're going with right now, I'll let you."

"Thank you. I really don't want to get into it, until I've come to grips with it myself." I clasp my hands over my mouth, as if I can't help the words that just keep coming.

"I'll let you off the hook and not ask you anything else, but know I love you to death, and I'm here for you if you need anything. I'm going to go to lunch if you've got the class?" she says by way of asking if it's okay for her to leave me by myself.

"I got it. Have a good one. When you get back, I'll go."

Annabelle waves as she leaves, and I take a moment of quiet to contemplate what my life has become in the past few days. If someone had asked me even three months ago if I thought I'd be married right now, and even more if I would be married to Jasper Hamilton, I would've said no, that they'd lost their fucking minds. However, all of that changed, on a cold night two weeks ago, when I realized that loving someone can sometimes mean doing it to the detriment of everything you thought you'd stand strong to.

"Miss Daisy, can you come help me?" One of the kids who needs me, takes my attention. Which was probably for the best. I don't need to spend my time at work daydreaming about my husband. Ya know, the one man I swore I'd never date again. "Be right there."

Duty calls, and it doesn't have time for my memories of when I decided to throw all caution to the wind and marry the one man I said I wouldn't.

* * *

A few hours later, I'm in my apartment, packing the last of my boxes. It's heavy, and not just the weight of things inside. Me leaving the space I've called mine since college graduation. I'm trying to figure out if I’ve made the right decision. Distracted, I pull my laptop closer to me, needing a bit of a break.

Like I've found myself doing recently, I'm on the YouTube channel for The Hamilton Foundation. It's one way I've been able to watch Jasper without him knowing. The joy on his face in these videos is everything I remember wanting to see, but not ever being able to witness, back in the day. I did this a lot after we broke up, and I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again, but here we are.

Watching, a smile spreads across my face.

We're here with Jasper Hamilton. The foundation is a testament to his parents, who passed away when he was a young child. We're asking him a few questions, about what it means to him to be a part of this.

"Everything," he answers. "I wasn't allowed to be raised by my parents because of the accident, and I wanted it more than anything. These children that we work with don't have the option, because they've been removed from the care of their parents. I know what it's like to miss someone. Spending my time with them makes me incredibly happy.

Judging by the look on his face, it's true. I've always wanted him to smile like this for me, but he never has. My chest tightens, because now I realize just how important this is to Jasper, and I know we have to make it work.

CHAPTER SIX

Jasper

I'm frozen to the bone by quitting time. It's one of the worst parts of working out in the elements, but it's also one of the reasons I like working outside so much. It makes me feel something. Whether it be hot, cold, wet, uncomfortable, whatever. For so long after my parents died, I didn't feel anything. I would hurt myself just to have an emotional response. I would get into fights and goad my opponents into hitting me. It's been many years since I did that, but only because I was able to get this physically demanding job.

I wave at Weston as I get in my truck and drive away. Today is not the day to sit around and shoot the shit. I'm not in the mood for it. Fact is I haven't been in the mood for it for a while, but I would still do it. Today, I can't make myself.

I'm still irritated about the way I left my grandfather this morning.

Typically I would go straight home. Instead, I head toward Daisy's apartment. She's living there for a few more days. I notice her car as soon as I turn into the drive and the anxiety I've been dealing with for most of the day immediately goes away. That low-level buzz in my stomach, the noise inside my head, it all quietens. The way it did in high school when we were just friends, and then when we moved on to being a couple. Even when she didn't want to talk to me, I would seek her out and be close without her knowing. The entirety of our senior year in college, I would sit at a table in the library with a hoodie on and watch her like a creeper. But I needed it, so that I didn’t psyche myself out for test, and just to feel like I was home. She was the only one who made me feel that way since my parents died.

Parking, I turn the car off and then head in, taking the stairs two at a time. When I get to the landing, I start second-guessing myself. Should I be here? Is it right for me to be here? We may have rings, and she's changing her last name, but this isn't a traditional marriage at all. I'm confused on if I should expect her to be understanding of the situation I'm feeling or not.

Before I can talk myself into turning around and heading back the way I came, her door flings open.

"Jasper?" she gasps when she sees me.

"Hey." I tuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "Sorry, I was about to knock, or leave. I hadn't decided yet." I scratch the back of my neck, embarrassed as fuck right now.

"I was just heading out to take my trash down." She indicates the trash bag she's carrying in her hand.

"I'll take it for you." I reach out, grabbing it. Our fingers brush, and that little bit of electricity that's always been between us instantly fires to life. We stand there staring at each other for longer than necessary when I sigh and turn away.

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