Page 25 of Jasper

"Losing anyone hurts, Jasper. I can't imagine you being as young as you were, and it happening the way it did for you." Boone gives me a small smile. It's more comforting than I remember any of the others being.

"And I was still hurt." I remember, thinking back to that time. "I was in a cast for eight weeks, completely through Christmas."

"I can't imagine that you have any good memories."

"Not of Christmas," I confirm. "The ones I do have are of hanging out with your family and when the guys and I have gotten together. But going back to getting married. I never wanted to care about someone as much as I cared about my parents again. When I was a child, it was hard, I can't imagine how it would be as an adult. Thomas did it because he knew how scared I've been my entire life about losing someone else who's close to me."

"What a fucking dick."

"Yeah," I agree. "Daisy, though, is special. She always has been. I knew in high school, and then in college, that she was end game for me. That's why I pushed her away."

"Let me tell you from someone who pushed away a lot of good women, but finally found the one I didn't want to push away, it's going to be worth it."

I swallow hard, trying not to show the emotion that's building. "But will it really be worth it when I end up completely losing her?"

"Jasper, that's your fear talking, not reality. She said yes and married you, even after you pushed her away. What does that say about her?"

"That's she's a glutton for punishment and doesn't have the good sense God gave her to give up on me?" I shrug.

"One more question, and then I'll leave you alone about all of this. Is she home to you?"

I flinch, not sure what he's asking. "What do you mean?"

"How do you feel when she's around?"

I've never thought about any of this, even when we were together before, because I didn't want to be dependent on another person. To me that's always seemed like such a weakness, which is why I made her leave me before. If I depended on her any more than I already was, I wasn't sure I'd be able to look myself in the mirror and be honest. I'd cared about two people so much earlier in my life that as a little kid losing them had broken me. I promised myself as I got older I would never.

"Jesus Christ, kid. Stop being so serious. Go have fun, go laugh, go fuck her, and don't think about the rest of this shit." He pushes against the table. "And don't come back until you've done all of that." With those words he stands and goes back to the guys.

For a few moments, I sit here, contemplating what he's said. The pressure and realization that I won't have forever with Daisy sinks in. For the first time in years, it dawns on me that tomorrow isn't promised. That my parents didn't start the day of the accident with thoughts of their lives being finite. They more than likely believed they had years, that they were going to grow old together and sit on their porch and watch the world go by. They'll never get that chance. I have it, but I've been too goddamn stubborn to take it. Pushing my chair back, I get up and head out, phone in hand, texting Daisy.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Daisy

"I've missed this," I moan as I lick at the frosting on the cinnamon roll.

Gabby laughs. "I've missed seeing you. I know you're busy, though."

She's sitting with me at a table in Get Baked. The weather is shit today, which is why I decided to come see her. I knew she wouldn't be too busy. It's overcast with a slight drizzle coming down, colder than it should be for this time of the year. "I am, but I need to start making time for friends again. Jasper only needs to take up a certain portion of my time, not all of it."

"Are you telling me that, or telling yourself?" She raises her eyebrows and purses her lips before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Mostly myself, halfway you."

"How's it going with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody?"

I snicker, because that's the perfect way to describe him. "It's going. We're still kind of tiptoeing around each other. Sooner or later, one of us will have to give in."

Gabby purses her lips. "And it will be so good when one of you does."

While I do agree, I'm also scared that it might break one of us, too. "I'm worried about when it happens. More than likely it's going to break me."

"What do you mean?" She takes a bite of her cinnamon roll.

"You've heard the story of us dating in college, right?" Gabby is older than we are by about ten years, so she may have heard things on the periphery, but she didn't live it with the rest of us.

"I've heard that you told him to step on a Lego and to hit his head so he wouldn't remember you?" She snickers. "Did you really say that?"

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