Page 51 of Brutal Secrets

I’m not sure what I’m asking for anymore, but she widens her legs and starts working my cock deeper inside her.

“Fuck,” I moan as she slides back against me. I inch all the way home until my balls are snug against the warm skin of her body. “God, you’re so beautiful. Nothing in the world makes me feel like I do when I’m inside you.”

I move slowly, fucking her gently to allow her body time to adjust to my size. Moving in and out and remembering the feel of her makes me lose myself in time. I could be here in the woods on a spring morning or back in Moscow in the snow.

“Oh, god,” she moans.

“You okay, baby? Are you with me?” My voice comes out sounding strangled with the effort of holding myself back.

“God, Vadim. Harder. I need you.”

I can’t form words, so I lean down and take her hand from between her legs and bring it to rest on the birch tree, twining our fingers together. Holding her hip with my other hand to anchor myself, I slam into her. Her body rocks beneath me, and I lose it. Rutting into her like an animal. Making her moan and cry out with every thrust.

Then I’m pouring my body, heart, and soul into her as the light behind my eyes flashes silver like the birch bark around us. With the walls of her pussy clenching down around me, I come.

She stills and tries to move away from me, but I bend over her back and turn her face toward me.

“Don’t pull away from me now.” I wrap her in my arms as we stand upright. Keeping my arm around her, I turn her to face me.

A tear slips over her crimson cheek. I lean in to kiss her, swallowing the trickle of salt water.

“Please don’t cry, zolotaya,” I whisper against her lips. I know I don’t have the right to ask when I can’t stay in her life, but it tears me up to see her so upset.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“M

y god, we shouldn’t have done that.” I’m disgusted with myself as I frantically pull up my panties and jeans. Anyone could have seen me.

As I do up the button on my fly, the evidence of what we just did soaks through my panties. I cast my gaze around the trees, but there’s only grass and branches and the soft rustles and chirps of a spring morning in my favorite part of New York.

The reality of Vadim and the life he lives has crashed into the fantasy cottage I’ve built in the woods. This was a place meant to shelter my family, not to break my daughter’s heart. Or mine.

His arms are still around me, but I try to pull away. He lets me take a step before he stops me, tightening his arms and looking down at me.

“Please don’t cry, baby. It’s natural, what we did.” He shrugs. “We want each other. We acted on it. It’s not a crime.”

He doesn’t need to add “not like some of the things I’ve done,” but I think it. The gun tucked into his waistband is all the evidence I need of the mess I’m in.

He pulls me into his arms and sits down on a log. It’s been so long since a man held me, and I want to lean into it and make believe. I wish this was the fairy tale and he was back with us, but just two days ago he said he wished I hadn’t found him. Whatever that was in the Brooklyn nightclub, it wasn’t an advertisement for good partner material.

“What’s happening here, Vadim? You blow so hot and cold I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” He chuckles, and a flare of anger flickers to life inside me. “We’ll work it out. You can’t say you didn’t want me.”

He looks so carefree that I want to punch him...if I didn’t think I’d probably hurt my hand and leave him unaffected. He’s still smiling like this is a great way to start the morning.

“How? How are we going to work it out? Are you going to move in with us? Be Nadia’s dad? Are we going to be a family?” I blast the questions out like gunfire.

Looking discomfited, he runs his hands through his hair. “Christ. Give me a minute. You’re going too fast for me.”

“No, you are behaving like a child when we have a child. I won’t play games with her life,” I say, putting on my best mommy voice.

Another smirk. “That didn’t feel childlike to me.”

He thinks it’s funny. He fucked me in the woods like an animal for anyone to see, and he thinks it’s funny.

I’m so angry I’m vibrating with it, but underneath it all is a rolling tide of a bigger emotion. And all of a sudden, I’m doubled over. I’ve held it together for days, months, years. No one in the world has ever made me feel the way he does, and I’ve never wanted any other man that way.

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