Page 44 of Twisted Cage

More of his blood. More of his begging. And all of his pain.

For once, no one ruled me. I made the decisions. No more pretending to be the pretty princess or the lost little sheep trying to prove herself useful because she had nowhere else to go.

I fight to hold on to the satisfaction of payback, but the flood of feelings Konstantin’s arrival brings overshadows all.

Hate, loathing, regret, and so much want I can scarcely breathe at the thought of it. And how stupid is it that I still have to fight the instinct to touch him?

My throat aches from holding back tears.

Every look from his intense dark eyes, every word from his deceptive mouth, his actions, reactions, motivations–his love for me, all of it poisoned by the cold hard truth.

I am a replacement for my mother. Worse, I am a replacement and the best form of payback at my father he can possibly get his hands on.

He must have secretly loved when I begged him to take my virginity. Oh sure, he used that honor he paraded around to feign resistance—but it was all for show. I’d been handing him more leverage than he ever could have hoped to gain. The rush of victory he must have felt when my father and Vlad walked in right after… bastard.

At least with Elijah, we all knew what we were getting. Konstantin’s betrayal was a masterpiece nineteen years in the making. Thousands of lies layered one on top of another, each paper thin and delicate on their own, but together, breathtakingly destructive with their strength.

He left a gaping wound behind. Impossible to heal and always aching. He cheated me. He tarnished my first time, but it went so much farther than that. His lie by omission stole every happy memory I had of him in an otherwise oppressive, often terrifying childhood. Thousands upon thousands of deceptions—everything he taught me, every hug, every forehead kiss… all a means to an end.

Even if we never had more than our one time together, at least I had a lifetime of memories filled with him.

But now with this glaring truth exposed, I have nothing but this anguish I can’t shake no matter how hard I try.

I want him to bleed for it. I want to shred his heart the way he shredded mine. Only in the aftermath of his betrayal, I have to wonder if he has one at all.

Pressing my knife against his gut ignited a twisted fantasy. One where I make him bleed. A fantasy I haven’t been able to get out of my head since. My heart wants his pain and punishment, but my body, the fucking traitor… just wants him.

My skin prickles, heating with awareness. Before I can stop myself, I glance up and lock eyes with the snake.

The intensity I find there brings me right back to that altar, with his fingers flexing on my throat when the thin thread of control snapped and he possessed me, taking anything and everything he wanted.

I close my eyes, and like every other time they closed since that day, he is there. Rough and wild, drinking me in, unblinking as though he can’t bear to miss a second.

Tearing myself from the vivid memory, I squeeze my thighs together, looking for relief. Forcing my eyes open, I find him still staring, only this time awareness flares in his eyes, a flush spreads over his cheeks as though he’s been in my head with me the whole time.

He could learn a thing or two about subtlety.

His eyes have burned through me at least two of the four-hour ride into Manhattan. Now this. And every time Konstantin fixes his gaze on me, Grigori aims a curious one at him.

His man is putting the pieces together, and the more people who know something had happened between us, the more danger we’ll be in. In this world, not only is he my godfather and once my father’s best friend, which is forbidden enough, but I was promised to another man. Once word spreads that I am back, they’ll expect the promise to be fulfilled. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been gone or what has happened in that time.

It won’t matter that Vlad made the promise, despite my being under Nikolaj’s protection. To the Petrovs, a family rooted in antiquated traditions, I am nothing more than a piece of property unfairly kept from them. Either Nikolaj turns me over to Ivan Petrov, or Ivan will bring a war to Nikolaj’s doorstep.

Does he have the men he needs to win that kind of war? Or will we be forced underground indefinitely? I glance down at Lexi’s soft, rosy cheek and take in the peaceful expression on her round little face. How can we bring these babies underground with no fresh air, no sunlight?

City lights come into view, looking deceptively far away. We’ll be winding between skyscrapers in less than ten minutes.

Tugging the elastic free from my damp hair, I shake the heavy bun loose and massage my aching scalp. Grit coats my eyes, making them burn. A dull ache pulses in the back of my skull, the throb growing stronger with every passing minute.

I loathe the idea of talking to him. I definitely am not ready to hear his voice, the deep, sexy rasp always on the edge of more. Like he’s constantly on the prowl, waiting to be prodded into letting loose a roar.

But I have to know. I have to prepare now if we are heading into the dark. “Where are we going?”

His hard eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Somewhere safe.”

I swallow the ball of trepidation creeping up my throat and hold his stare. I will not show fear, dammit. I just carved up a guy and here I am, on the verge of panic at the thought of the narrow pitch-black entry point Grigori led me to the last time. “Underground?”

Fuck.

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