Page 27 of Twisted Cage

I’d regret it immediately. I know I would. If my dad ever found out, he'd have the boy and his family slaughtered. And me, what value would I have to him then? I know what he needs me for. A marriage of convenience. Anyone he promised me to would expect a virgin.

So, grinding myself against my mattress again it is. Sigh.

Fuck, all I can picture now is her straddling me, not the girl she’d been, but the version of her I found at Illusions Cabaret. The barely eighteen temptress who played innocent on the stage, dancing tentative fingers along the lone pole in the spotlight. When she put her virginity up for sale to a room full of ravenous, dangerous men. Where I bought her for half a million dollars to save her from her own recklessness. Only to succumb in less than twenty-four hours, by taking her virginity despite my every intention to turn her over to her brother, Nikolaj, intact where he could keep her safe.

That version of her, now branded in my brain, her dress pushed up to her waist, hugging my hips, that tight pussy dripping all over me as I freed my cock and took her. Those velvety thighs spread impossibly wide, her hips accepting the inconceivable stretch. My hips pummeled her so violently toward the end I had to release her thighs and gain purchase by seizing her soft round ass in my greedy hands to keep her tight to me. Eyes locked on mine, she took me balls deep over and over, her teeth sinking into that full bottom lip as she did. Goddamned right she’d regret fucking one of those boys.

Hey, it’s me again…

My father had one of his parties tonight. The kind we aren’t supposed to interrupt. But tonight he wanted me there. He bought me a beautiful dress and had a hair stylist and makeup artist help me get ready. He even bought a diamond necklace and teardrop diamond earrings for the occasion.

I felt like a princess. A real princess for the first time. Not just someone expected to be seen and not heard until I was useful. He must have said something to his bitch of a wife, fuck if I would call her my stepmother, Elena, because she was nice to me. Okay, not nice, but she smiled. So it was a fake smile. I’d take it.

He had me dance with a few of his associates’ sons. He said it was to get to know them better, but I knew what he was doing. He was shopping me around.

So much for him wanting me there because he loved me. When will I ever stop hoping he’ll care about me as more than just someone he can use to secure an alliance?

The night didn’t completely suck though.

Konstantin asked me to dance. I know he was checking up on me, making sure no one was making me uncomfortable, but I pretended he did it because he wanted me.

The music was so loud, he had to lean in, his lips right next to my ear so I could hear him. I wanted to turn my head so bad. I could have done it, pretended it was an accident. His lips would have been right there.

But if anyone saw it, my father would send him away. I knew he would. He always used Konstantin to keep me in line. Told me if I didn’t behave, he would find someone to protect me who wouldn’t indulge me.

I don’t think Konstantin indulges me. He just loves me. He’s my godfather. He’s supposed to, even if it’s not the way I want him to.

So I kept my face forward. I smiled. Laughed. Whispered into his ear when he bent to hear my reply.

And when I went to bed, for the first time ever, I didn’t wear pajamas.

That’s when it happened. Really happened. Nadia told me she touches herself all the time, but I never have. I’d always been too afraid of getting caught. Until tonight.

I locked the door, but also jammed a chair under the doorknob just in case. If anyone walked in, I’d die.

And OMG, sleeping naked you feel everything. EVERYTHING.

How cool the sheets are. The way they move over your skin when you shift and turn.

My nipples ached, but the sheets dragging over them felt good. So that’s where I started.

Brushing them with my fingers felt nice, but pinching them felt sooooo much better.

My harsh breathing fills the crypt. This is it. This has to be rock bottom. Taking her virginity on the altar where she was baptized should have been the worst thing I’ve ever done when it comes to Nikoletta. But as I slide my hand into my pants pocket and pull out the panties I ripped from her before taking her virginity, I know what I’m about to do is far worse.

I bury my nose in the material and drag in a greedy lungful of air. She lingers on the fabric even now, a blessing and a curse. My eyelids slide shut as the scent of her moves through me. Every day she remains out of reach, I grow more desperate to touch her. How the hell will I ever control myself when I see her again? The hunt turned me into a reckless version of the man I’d been as I tear through this world, leaving bloody corpses in my wake.

Reading my goddaughter’s fantasies while burying my face in her panties, the ones I’ve kept in my pocket since the day I tore them from her… also is not rock bottom.

Not quite.

I fist my rock-hard cock, the cotton wrapped around my hand, and stroke.

Now this… this is rock bottom.

I reached between my legs and brushed over myself lightly. But after a few minutes, it just wasn’t enough. So I pushed a finger inside. Just a little. Parts felt okay, but nothing like pinching my nipples, until I found my clit.

One glide leads to another, and another.

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