Page 39 of Blaze

“Hurry your ass up,” I call over her yelp. “I’m leaving in twenty minutes, and if you aren’t on the back of my bike, I’m leaving you behind.”

I stride out of my bedroom, hiding my grin behind my coffee as Kennedy grumbles colorful curses. Clearly, the woman forgot that I can hear her perfectly well.

“Well, aren’t you looking all domestic.”

I drop the grin from my face and narrow my brows at Bones as he heads my way down the hall. He’s pulling on a shirt, yanking it down quickly. Not quick enough before I get a glimpse at the scars crisscrossing his abdomen. We all bear our burdens and our demonic abilities in unique ways, and, for as powerful as Bones is, I don’t envy him.

The overly lean demon’s powers allow him to control bones. Bones of the dead are easier, but I’ve seen him exert control over a living being. Not much scares me, but the idea of not being in control of my own body makes me shudder. Fortunately, he can’t do it often or over many people at once since it takes too much power and lays him flat out for days after.

His scars are a reminder of how my father didn’t care about his soldiers. On a battlefield against other princes in the Underworld or against the angels, Bones had plenty of dead bodies to animate and order back into battle. On more discreet missions, though, Bones would be forced to rip out his own ribs. In his demon form, the bones regrow, but there is always a scar. Not just on the skin.

Bones doesn’t like to talk about it, but we’ve all seen the haunted look in his eyes.

“Don’t take it out on me that you haven’t been laid in a week.” I hit his shoulder with mine as he passes me. “If you got your head out of that helicopter, you could be just as cozy as me with a woman in your bed.”

He recovers easily from my shove and laughs, the macabre skull tattoo on his face grinning widely.

I once asked why he got the tattoo, and he’d given some douchebag answer I didn’t even bother remembering.

“Who’d have thought that you’d take the fall?” He shakes his head and walks with me towards the massive party room. “What happened to that bullshit you were telling Cinder, about how you’re never going to settle down and how one chick can’t handle you?”

I lean against the back of one of the leather couches, crossing my arms over my chest. I consider his words before tossing back the last of the coffee. Bones has crossed to behind the bar, the same bar where I’d first kissed Kennedy over a week ago. He grabs a beer despite it barely being noon.

He’s right. I’d told Cinder settling down isn’t in the cards for me. I still don’t know if it is. Kennedy is different, somehow. I’ve spent more time with her than any other chick I’ve fucked around with. But she made it clear at the beginning that she’s leaving when it’s safe.

A growl climbs to the base of my throat at the idea of her leaving. Kennedy will leave, and she’ll find some human man that’ll make her happy. Another man will explore her body. Will hear the breathy sounds she makes just before she comes. Will get to fall asleep curled up around her and wake up to her smile and messy hair in the morning.

She deserves that. She deserves the whole package of a good man who can give her kids and the white picket fence.

Cinder might have found a human woman willing to gift her soul to his, binding herself to him for eternity, but none of us are stupid enough to hope for the same. What Cinder and Lacy have is special and rare.

Cinder is also one of the best of us. He deserves that happiness after all the shit he’s been through.

I know what I deserve, and someone as special as Kennedy isn’t it. So I’ll be a selfish bastard and take what I can get before she gets in a car and puts Devil’s Haven and me in the rearview mirror.

I send him a lopsided grin and shove one hand in my front pocket. “Nah, not falling,” I say. “Just enjoying some till the shit blows over. Not like anyone else is around since Reaper’s not letting us have parties right now.”

An almost silent inhalation from the far doorway has me freezing. I stare at Bones, asking the universe what the fuck I did for this to happen. I don’t let myself look at Kennedy immediately, waiting until Bones looks over before lazily following him like I have no care in the world.

The look of hurt in those whiskey-honey eyes of hers is like a punch to the nose, but I can’t let myself react to it. She hides it quick, which I’m damn grateful for, since if she didn’t, I don’t know how long I’d last before getting on my knees and confessing. Confessing that I don’t want her to leave Devil’s Haven, that I want to keep her at my side.

She’s already had one asshole try to control her choices. I won’t be another one.

I’m a black-hearted, selfish demon, but I won’t be like him.

“Finally ready to go, kitten?” I ask, aiming for a nonchalant tone as I push off the back of the couch. I cross the distance to the bar, where Bones is still standing behind, and set down my empty coffee cup. Bones looks at me but I take the coward’s way out and make a point of walking over to the rack where most of us keep our Knights of Hades’ cuts and shrug my vest on. I don’t need to see judgment in his eyes. I’m disappointed in myself enough for all of us.

Kennedy meets up with me after giving a small wave and a soft goodbye to Bones, who raises his beer in salute to her. I reach above her head and hold one of the French doors open, shoving down the disappointment as she makes a point to avoid contact as she walks outside.

I shoot a look back at Bones, who’s looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot. I flip him off before following Kennedy towards the garage where my bike’s parked.

She’s quiet as I hand her the helmet I’ve started to think of as hers and is still quiet when she climbs on behind me.

What happened is a good thing, I tell myself as I steer us out towards the road and to Sydney’s. Better she realize what an asshole I am now and save ourselves the grief when she leaves rather than keep acting like I’m some heroic prince charming.

I keep telling myself she won’t miss me, grateful that the wind steals her scent away. Now if only I didn’t still taste her on my lips.

Unreasonably pissed off now, I open the throttle like I can run away from my own actions.

---