I can’t seem to tell him no.

Maybe we can pretend for a little while longer.

“I want you, Abi, I want you so fucking much,” he whispers so quietly I can’t be one percent certain I heard him right. Because I’m me… and he’s Elliot Eaton.

He can have any girl he wants.

Girls like Lauren Winrow.

Beautiful. Strong. Rich.

His kiss turns harder. Possessive and desperate in a way that makes my toes curl. I’m lost in him, the thrill of having him so close.

He rolls his hips into me, letting me feel exactly how much he wants me and I suppress another whimper.

“Use me,” he urges, tangling his fingers in my hair. “Get off on me. Take whatever you need.”

“T-touch me,” I say. “I want you to touch me.”

Something flares in his eyes and for a second, I think he might deny me.

“You sure?” He searches my face and I nod, too scared to give him my words.

Elliot exhales a soft sigh as he pushes his hand between us, finding my centre wet and wanting.

“Fuck, Red, you’re soaked,” he croons, hooking my underwear to the side to slide a finger into me. And another.

“Okay?” he asks, and I nod, letting my head drop back as I give over to him.

There’s no hesitation, no second-guessing myself, no cynical dark thoughts.

Everything just melts away, my awareness narrowed onto only one thing—Elliot touching me. His fingers curling deep inside me as his thumb rubs circles over my clit, making me shiver and moan.

I’m soaring. Climbing higher and higher, chasing that moment of sheer bliss that I know will follow.

Nothing else feels this good. Not the sharp edge of a blade slicing into my skin. Not the poison running through my veins as I danced wild and free last night.

Nothing—nothing feels this good.

My body trembles beneath him as I race towards the edge.

“That’s it, Red. Come for me. Come all over my hand.”

Elliot kisses me through it, stroking his tongue into my mouth as I shatter.

“Oh God,” I cry, clutching his bedsheets.

It’s too much.

Too intense and consuming.

I could lose myself in this.

In him.

“S-stop.” I push him away, panic saturating every inch of me.

What have I done?