Page 17 of Savage Vicious Heir: Part Two

I shouldn’t be here, in her dorm room. In her bed. It’s probably the worst possible place for me to be for a number of reasons, but I can’t stand going back to my room at the Chapel.

I know where she is.

Every night I’ve sat out the front of her house and watched.Waiting.

There’s been no movement, no evidence of life inside, but I know she’s there hiding.

Locking herself away from the world. From me.

It’s only what I deserve, I know that.But it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

It’s that knowledge that makes me stop me from walking up to the front door and knocking until she has no choice but to let me in, to talk to me.

I’m trying to do the right thing. To give her space. Time.

But I fear no amount will ever be enough.

And it shouldn’t be.

She shouldn’t forgive me for this.

I told her I would hurt her.

And I have.

I warned her that my family would destroy us.

And they have.

Pushing myself so I’m sitting in the middle of the bed, I stare around the generously sized dorm room around me.

I’ve cleaned it within an inch of its life in the past twenty-four hours. The scent of bleach is thick in the air, and everything that Abigail owns now has a home. Her desk is meticulously organised. Everything is placed just so. The photos on the shelf above are all aligned at the correct angles.But while it might make me feel a little more settled, it doesn’t help.

Not really.

I’d take her forgiveness a million times over this tidy room.

It’s bullshit.

I knew it was before. My need for cleanliness and order is just a way to try and keep some kind of semblance of control over my life.But it’s a pretence, a mask, just like the one I’m forced to walk around wearing every day of my goddamn life.

Lifting the duvet to my face, I inhale a hit of Abigail’s scent.

I’m being a pussy. I know I am. But it’s like I fell into a black pit on Wednesday night and now it’s impossible to pull myself out of it.

I’ll give myself the weekend. Two more days before I pull my head out of my arse and sort my shit out.

I don’t have time to be mourning the loss of a girl who could never be mine.

I’ve got exams. Family commitments.A fucked-up future laid out before me.

I don’t have time for a girl.

I don’t need a girl.

Maybe not, but… you fucking want her though, don’t you?

Throwing the duvet from my body, I swing my legs off the edge and pad through to her bathroom.The second I step inside, all I can see is her curled up on the floor with blood running down her thigh.

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