Page 28 of Butterfly

My words caught in my throat, and I melted a little more.

God, I really did hate myself. I was a doormat, wasn’t I?

“That’s a dick thing to say,” I pointed out, even if my petty little heart loved it.

He shrugged. “It’s true.”

Well, I wasn’t going to let this conversation go any further. Tiffanie had been a real bitch to me, she didn’t deserve a defense. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being called a gourmet meal, but I wasn’t going to pursue that, either.

Instead, I changed the subject. “We should get to work.”

I pulled out my laptop and sat down in the chair furthest away from him. I expected him to sit across from me, and it was discomfiting when he took the chair next to mine and slid it over so our knees were practically touching.

“Do you need to sit this close to me?” I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to sit on the other side and shout across to you? It’s practically in Siberia.”

He was wrong, but it wasn’t worth the fight.

I opened my laptop. “Okay, what ‘canonical work’ do we want to write about?”

He shrugged. “That can wait. How are you, Leslie?”

“What, we’re exchanging pleasantries now? Let’s concentrate on the project. It’s the only reason we’re spending time together.”

He shook his head, his eyes dark. “I want to know how you’re doing. First day of class, new school, haven’t even gone to ballet yet. You must be stressed. Talk to me.”

Why the hell would I talk to you? When you could just use it against me? I wanted to say. But that felt too vulnerable. I wasn’t about to show the asshole my hand, even if it had felt good holding hands with him.

“How do you think I am?” I asked.

Strong Leslie 1, Doormat Leslie 0.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ve seemed…upset this morning.”

“How would you even know? You barely spoke a word to me until class.”

“I saw you. You seemed especially upset in the cafeteria. Why?”

I glared at him. He really thought I was that easy. No more Doormat Leslie. “You know why.”

“Do I? Oh, was it because Emily was sitting in my lap? I didn’t realize you cared.”

Damn it. I’d confessed a weakness to him I hadn’t even admitted to myself. Well, too late now. But I wasn’t going to pretend I hadn’t noticed his mood swings with me. He deserved to be confronted, and I deserved answers.

“I. Don’t. Care. But yesterday you acted like a caveman in my dorm room and kissed me and touched me, and then this morning you were an asshole and embarrassed me, and now you’re acting like I matter to you, that we’re friends or something. I can’t deal with the emotional whiplash, Mason.”

“We’re not friends,” he said easily. My heart sank at his easy dismissal of me, even though it shouldn’t feel anything toward him. “We’re more than that,” he added, and my heart was buoyed despite myself.

Damn it. Strong Leslie 1, Doormat Leslie 1.

“Right, we’re stepsiblings.”

“Hmmm.”

“Hmm? What’s hmm.”

“I’m sorry, butterfly,” he said. “You’re right, my behavior’s been erratic. I’ll make sure my intentions are clearer in the future. Will that help?”

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