Page 64 of Cage of Thorns and Blood

There's still time for me to call this off, but I'm not going to do so.

Sometimes I get this feeling, and the only way to describe it is that it's as if I'm on a train that I don't know how to control. It’s barrelling down the tracks, going far too fast, and there's a huge object in the way, but I simply cannot stop the train. Sometimes that's how my behavior feels to me. Perhaps it’s part of the Andretti genes.

The crazy that inhabits my family.

I didn't get all of it, of course. I'm not as vicious as Nico, or as cold as Mamma, and I'm nowhere near as vindictive as Babbo. Still, I'm probably not the easiest of people to be around half the time.

I make a vow then. While I'm out in Italy, I'll do some serious work on myself. Self-improvement, I think. I'll try to become a better person. A kinder person. I'll do yoga every day in the sunshine. I'll eat fruit for breakfast. I'll lose that half stone that I can never quite manage to get rid of. I’ll learn Italian and visit art galleries. There will be a whole new Renata born of this experience.

Before that happens, though, I will give in to my destructive impulses one last time. I'm about to make Matteo Mancini look like the biggest fool going for the second time in his life.

Still holding the hand of the man who is about to be complicit in something far more dangerous than he could ever understand, I climb the steps to the back of the stage. He follows me. My poor, handsome lamb to the slaughter.

I take a stroll toward the curtains and glance around to see if I can spot the place where they part. David shoots me an incredulous look as I walk over to them and run my hands against the thick velvet.

“You seem more interested in the curtains than you do the auction items,” he comments.

“I like velvet,” I say.

His face remains inscrutable, but it’s about now he’s going to realize he has a live one here and start backing away.

Damn it, it's going to be really difficult to maneuverer this the way I need. Then I see it, and my heart lifts. I was worried that these curtains might have the old-fashioned ropes that you had to pull to open them. The kind you see in old-timey movies about the wild west shows. That would make my plan ridiculously difficult. You can't exactly pull the ropes of the curtains while you're caught in a passionate moment with a man. Right across from me, though, at the side of the stage, is a large box with one beautiful green button and one red button.

Just in case a person couldn't figure out what green and red mean, above each button there's a sticker: one which says open curtains. And one which says close curtains.

I relax a little now that I know as long as I maneuverer David into the area, I can get the curtains open while I'm distracting him with kisses and fumbles, I take my time to look at the auction items.

“This reminds me of the sorts of things we used to have at the church fairs in summer,” I say. “Except for rich, stupid people.”

He burst out laughing, and I put my finger to my lips. “You'll get us caught,” I say with a wink.

“Why do you say these things are stupid?”

“Oh, come on.” I pick out a basket of expensive beauty items and hold it toward him. “I can tell you with my rather expert eye that this basket is probably worth maximum of about two hundred pounds. Yet tonight, I bet you anything that the bidding goes up to about four or five hundred pounds. People are going to pay way over the odds for this stuff.”

“Of course they are,” he says as if I'm a monster. “It’s to help orphans.”

“They could just give the money directly to the orphans,” I point out.

He leans in close and whispers seductively in my ear. “Ah, but where would be the tax break in that?”

I genuinely giggle at those words. In another world this guy could be someone I could see myself having fun with, but right now he’s nothing but a means to get my revenge. I can’t think of another man while that bastard is sitting out there, thinking he has me under his control again.

I move to the side of the stage away from the gifts and place my champagne down on the ledge right under the buttons for the curtains. I beckon David to me.

“I don't think we've said hello properly,” I say.

He runs his tongue over his lower lip and slowly walks toward me. Glancing briefly to my side to make sure I’m right next to the panel with the buttons, I wrap my arms around my his neck as he nears and start to kiss him.

Chapter 18

Matteo

I realize as I'm sipping at my drink, and angrily glancing at my watch for the fourth time, that people are staring up toward the stage. The curtains are billowing, and it's very clear as I stare at them that the shape of someone presses against them and then disappears. I smirk to myself. It seems that there are some people who've decided to sneak around the back of the stage and mess about, like kids at a high school play.

“God, it stinks of shitty perfume in here,” Clifford states moodily.

He’s late. He sits opposite me and starts to play with his napkin.

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