My staff pour more champagne, but I don’t drink as in a while, I’ll be driving, called away on a fake business emergency.
My phone rings right on cue. I sigh as I listen to the message, delivered deadpan by one of my men. “I have to go. Work emergency. I’m sorry.”
I dab my mouth and stand.
“I understand.” Renata starts to push her chair back, but I hold my hand up.
“No. Stay. It won’t take more than thirty or forty minutes to sort, I hope. Stay and make yourself at home. When I return, we can try the dessert the staff made.”
She glances around the house as if the ghosts of my family are still here, ready to attack her the moment I leave. “Honestly. Please. Sit in here and keep nibbling. Or go and make yourself comfortable in the den. Only kitchen staff are here today, and I’ll tell them to leave you alone unless you ring for them.”
I show her the control panel on the wall. “Ring the bell marked kitchen if you want anything; otherwise, make yourself at home.”
One of the huge Rottweilers that patrol my property slinks past the window. Renata jumps as she stares at the dog.
“Don’t go outside,” I add. “I haven’t introduced you to the dogs yet. Once you’re introduced, you’ll be entirely safe in their company. They’re highly trained, but as they don’t know you yet, it’s safest to stay inside.”
She shivers. “How many are there?”
“Eight.” I smile. “That’s Lulu.”
She snort-laughs. “Lulu? I’d have thought she’d be better named Beast or Killer.” Another of the female dogs comes to join Lulu.
“That’s Ice,” I say. “Because she’s as cool as.”
“How do you tell them apart?”
“It’s easy when you get to know them. Their markings might be slightly different, or one is a bit taller than the other. Plus, they all have different color collars. The boys are bigger, of course, so you can tell the three boys easily.”
“I don’t think I want to meet any of them,” she says with a shiver.
“They’ll lick you to death once they know you.” I tip her chin up and take her mouth in one brief but soft kiss. “Wait for me. Watch a movie. Take a bath. Explore. Whatever. I won’t be long.”
I leave and climb into my car. The driver’s side mirror is down and for a moment I stare at myself, feeling something akin to self-hatred. Why the fuck am I playing these games with her? She’s shown me some of her vulnerabilities, and here I am piling more shit onto her.
Then I recall what she did to me. Screwing Duncan, giving him the precious gift of her virginity, and I get new resolve. Closing the mirror impatiently, I roar out of the drive. The SUV is behind me as always. There are still security guards at the house, though. Patrolling the grounds. Between them, the cameras, the drones, and the dogs, Renata is safe.
I commence driving around uselessly for around ninety minutes and wonder what my little morsel is getting up to in my absence.
Chapter 11
Renata
When Matteo first leaves, I sit at the table and consider nibbling on some more food as he suggested. However, I'm aware that I've gained a few pounds the last week or two, and I don't want to get fat. My mother may have annoyed me with her constant nagging about my figure, but it's left an indelible mark in my mind. The minute I gain a few pounds over the highest weight at which I can still look good, I begin to panic.
I'll never be super skinny, the way that my mother would like. I'm not putting myself through the pain and denial that I would need to do so. I'm confident in my skin, which probably drove her crazy. It still doesn't mean that her words haven't affected me. I love to eat, and I don't deny myself, but once I reach my current weight, I slow down.
I'll take a week or two where I aggressively monitor my food choices, and once the weight has fallen off a bit, I’ll continue to enjoy myself. It's a yoyo kind of existence, I suppose, but the fact that I never allow myself to truly gain too much weight means that I don't have to go on a strict diet for a long period of time.
Leaving the food, I grab my champagne glass and walk to the door. I peek out into the hallway and as Matteo said, there is nobody around.
He gave me a tour of the house the other day, but he didn't show me everything. It feels strange to go poking around in his home when he's not here, but the urge is riding me hard. He did suggest it, and so that makes me feel a little better about my decision.
A movie doesn't appeal right now, and a bath after eating will just give me stomach-ache.
Explore it is then, I say to myself.
After all, he invited me to do so.