Page 74 of Possession

I glance over my shoulder to see Kai following behind with Hudson in his carrier.

He takes us straight upstairs and into my bedroom. As soon as we enter, the feel and comfort of the room wraps around me like a warm blanket, and yet something about it is different. Rafael sets me down as he stands outside the closet door, then he opens it, allowing me to see inside.

A ragged sob steals my breath at the intricately furnished nursery decorated in The Hungry Caterpillar theme.

“Do you like it?” His hand lays loosely around the back of my neck, but I lean against him, needing to feel him.

“I-I—” I swallow back the tears, knowing how much he hates seeing me cry outside of our games and how much I’ve done it since seeing him again. “I love it.”

I can feel the relief pour from him as his shoulders slump. “Good. Oliver helped choose it.”

Spinning to face him, I step up on my tiptoes to reach the corner of his mouth. “Thank you, Daddy.” He growls and his hand grips my hip.

A throat clears behind Rafael. “Where do you want this?”

Kai holds Hudson up in his carrier.

“Give him fucking here and get out of our bedroom.” Rafael snatches Hudson from him, and Kai throws his arms up and backs out of the room, closing the door with a soft click. Rafael stares down at his sleeping son. His mop of black hair is fluffy, and his little lips are pulled into a tight line like his father’s.

“Shall I get him out so you can hold him?”

His Adam’s apple bobs, and he nods. “Yeah.”

He places the carrier on the floor, and I quickly work at unbuckling him, taking him out of the carrier, and holding him toward Rafael. His startled eyes meet mine. “I’ve never held a baby before.”

My eyebrows furrow. Surely, I didn’t hear him right. “What about Oliver?”

He shakes his head. “I had nannies.”

I lick my lips and give him a nod. Then I move his arms into a cradle position and place Hudson in them.

“He’s only four weeks, so he still needs you to support his head.”

Rafael stares down at him, transfixed. “I don’t want nannies.” His eyes shoot up to meet mine. “I don’t want nannies, Ellie. I want this.” He nods down at Hudson, and my heart soars. He wants to be a father. To be the man he craves to be, not the man expected of him.

“I mean, technically, I’m your nanny.” I chew on my bottom lip. “If you still want me?”

He backs me up against the wall, shifting Hudson to rest in one arm. My breath hitches when he bends down and presses his lips against mine.

“No nannies.” Our eyes meet, and my heart hammers at the intensity between us. “Just you, the mother of my children.” I crash my lips against his and wrap my arms around his neck as our tongues glide together.

Pulling back, I’m breathless as I stare into his lust-filled eyes, then my gaze latches on to the tattoo creeping up his neck. I reach out and stroke over the trail of bloody fingerprints, a reminder of our first night together. Goose bumps spread over his skin, and he hisses between gritted teeth, then snaps his hand out, gripping my wrist to stop me from touching him further.

His cold eyes glare down at me, and I swallow past the lump in my throat. It’s like he’s shut down; he’s gone from being caring to being cold in the blink of an eye. “Go get in the shower on all fours.”

He steps back, then moves around me, leaving me feeling cold at his rejection, and I wrap my arms around myself to bring me comfort before moving toward the bathroom.

“Papa’s never going to be without you again, Hudson,” he whispers as he places our son in his crib.

His words send a chill through my body as I walk away.

Chapter Forty-Four

Rafael

Her touch still scorches my skin as I watch my son sleep blissfully in his crib, blowing bubbles as he does so. He has my hair, but the feel of it is silky like his mom’s, and I find myself hoping he opens his eyes for me to see the color. Yet anxiety creeps up my spine at the prospect of when he does he might cry and I won’t know what to do, but I’m determined to learn.

I wasn’t lying when I said I’d never held a baby. It wasn’t until Oliver was much older that I allowed myself to hold him, but I want things to be different this time around. I’ve witnessed my brother find happiness with Jade and their daughter Faith, something I long for with Ellie and Oliver, now Hudson too.

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