Page 25 of Of Snow and Sapphire

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’m just scared.” For so many reasons, he was scared. Would her husband betray her? Would she forget him once she had another man by her side? Would he forget the way she made him feel just by being in her shadow?

Leaves crunched behind him as she rested her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll always worry.”

She chuckled, “I know. I also know that I’ll always be safe because you taught me how to protect myself.”

“Good.” He brushed a stray hair behind her ear. “I’m glad I can at least provide that comfort.”

Then, she did something that she hadn’t done since they were little. She wrapped her arms around him. He did the same. They stood there in each other’s embrace, letting the darkness cloak them.

Thirteen

Zimyn sat on his bed, a full glass of liquor in his hand. His body wanted that sip of relief, that drowning sensation to kick in. His mind had other ideas. It refused to let him bring his glass to his dry mouth because it would be admitting that he had second thoughts about everything. It proved that he didn’t want to leave Ludelle alone with these vultures. Mostly, he didn’t want to seem like a sop whose whole world revolved around her—that he couldn't keep himself composed, just because his heart was broken.

But, it was. He was completely torn.

He reveled in those last moments they had alone together outside his father’s cabin. When the moment came to an end and they let go, it was like pulling the scales from his flesh. A dawning realization that he would never have her wholly and completely like he dreamed.

Thankfully, none of his guards disturbed him. Some rested before their night shift, while most of them were on duty. Ludelle was entertaining the nobles again, one last time before she made her final decision.

He should be walking Flix through all his new responsibilities as Captain or packing his things, but he didn’t have the energy to do it.

A knock at his door shook him out of his daze. “I’m busy,” he yelled. Though that might not be wise. The castle might be under attack. Or worse, Ludelle might have a sword at her throat. At the thought, he rushed to the door and meant to pull when someone was already pushing in.

Ludelle stumbled in, light glowing behind her like a goddess of death ready to take him away.

“If this is what you call busy, then I want to know what you look like when you’re actually working,” Ludelle teased, her voice tinged with excitement.

“I’m in no mood, Ludelle,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be off picking your betrothed?”

“Right, of course.” She nodded as she undid the button at the front of her dress. “That’s important,” she replied, breathily.

His eyes widened. “What are you doing—”

She shushed him. “Quiet. I don’t want the guards to hear.”

Zimyn shook his head. “Hear what?” This couldn’t be happening. He pinched himself. He must have had too much to drink and had fallen asleep.

Ludelle huffed in frustration when she slid the gown down her body and it got caught at her feet. She kicked it away, leaving her only in a silver slip. The straps could barely be considered pieces of thread, and the hem reached just below her knees, exposing her muscled calves—ones he helped hone. He didn’t understand why the sight of them affected him so much. He’s seen her legs before, but the knowledge that once she pulled off that last piece of thin fabric, it would leave her completely bare, had his mouth watering and body going tight.

Tears sprang to her eyes. “This might be all that we have.” Her honesty, her sorrow at coming to a similar truth as him, completely destroyed him. He hated seeing her like this. Why must the Gods have punished them to such a fate?

“What do you want, Ludelle?” He rasped, walking backwards until he hit the edge of the bed. Even though he was Captain, his room was still small, a way to create a sense of equality among the guards.

She followed him. “You. Always you.”

“That’s not fair,” he whispered angrily. “We promised each other we wouldn’t take that step until after your Undertaking.” He needed to push her away before it went too far.

“Zimyn, you’ll be gone by then. This might be all we have, and I want you so desperately.”

“I know,” he said, exasperated because it was true, and he hated that fact. He sat on his bed, his head cradled in his hands. Because this must be a dream, a nightmare. The consequences of this would ruin her. He heard her light footsteps inching closer. She must have taken off her shoes at some point, and that made this more real.

“Look at me.” She placed a long cobalt claw under his chin and lifted it up. He would forever regret doing that because the vulnerability in her white eyes—her silver pupils dilated—would forever be stamped into his mind’s eye. His last bit of strength collapsed as soon as she grabbed the crown on her head and threw it on the mattress. It bounced and toppled to the floor. “I’m all yours tonight.”

Zimyn breathed deeply from his nose, but his restraint was gone. He grabbed her waist and tossed her on the bed, anchoring his arms on both sides of her body. She traced the side of his face, then his lips. He took her hand and kissed the tip of her finger and then the pulsepoint of her wrist, where he could have sworn he felt her heart jump.

“Are you sure?” Because she must know the harm this would cause if someone were to find out.

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