Page 147 of The Last Close Call

“Maybe someday. I don’t know.” She picked at the grass. “I’ve seen for myself how sometimes these things don’t go well. Right now, I don’t really feel like setting myself up for more disappointment. I’ve got enough stuff to work through.”

She looked at the creek again. Her heart was thrumming now as she told him this thorny secret that had been poking at her insides for years. She’d wanted to share it with him sooner, but she’d felt awkward and embarrassed. She still did.

“Rowan.”

She looked at him.

“Thank you for telling me.”

She shrugged. “I wanted to give you a heads-up, you know? My family’s a mess.”

“A lot of families are. Mine definitely isn’t perfect.”

“But mine’s worse than most. Truly.”

He looked at her for a long moment, and she wished she knew what he was thinking.

“It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot,” he said, “but the whole thing isn’t a reflection on you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she said, even though she had a hard time believing that. “Anyway, Skyler and Lila and Dara are like my family now. We’re all kind of misfits. I’ve never really wanted to have kids or to get married. Until you came along, I never thought...”

She stopped and looked away. She hadn’t meant to go there, and she could feel him watching her.

He picked up her hand. She looked at him.

“I’ve been thinking about it, too,” he said.

Her heart did a little flip-flop. His eyes were dark and serious, and the understanding in them made her throat feel tight.

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. Then he settled their joined hands on his leg.

“So, this birthday you’ve got coming up,” he said. “How about we spend the day together?”

She blinked at him, caught off guard by the sudden shift in topic. “Doing what?”

“Something fun.” He smiled at her. “I noticed there’s a mountain bike in the back of the barn. Is that Skyler’s?”

“It’s mine. But I haven’t been on it in ages. I’d probably wipe out.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I might.”

“If you do, then I’ll pick you back up.” He squeezed her hand. “Come on. There are some good trails around here. We’ll start small, no big hills. It’ll be fun. And then I can take you out for lunch someplace nice, and we can toast your birthday.”

She smiled and looked at the creek. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something special for her birthday. She’d gotten into the habit of ignoring it.

She shot a look at him. “Thursday is a workday.”

“Yeah?” He leaned back on the grass and tugged her with him.

“Since when do you take time off in the middle of the week?”

“This is the new me.” He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. “Less addicted to work. More addicted to other things.”

They both knew he meant sex, and she smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her. His mouth was warm and seeking, and she could tell he was trying to distract her from her angst about everything. And she let him. She loved kissing him, and she loved that he liked to take his time with her.

When he eased back, his expression was serious.

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