Page 2 of Expiry Dating

Storming over to the fridge, she pushed him out of the way, reached for the white wine, and waved it at him. “You want me to beat you with the bottle? Maybe you could burn off a few calories trying to fend me off?”

“Jesus. Will you two cut it out?” Jake’s voice boomed across the kitchen.

She forgot they had an audience. The last thing she wanted to do was piss off her new brother-in-law, who right now looked every bit the cowboy; he was donned in his muddy jeans, flannel shirt, and black Stetson. Lily was currently enveloped in his arms, trying her very best to stifle a snigger. At least she wasn’t mad. That was something.

“Hey, I’m trying to play nice, man”—Brady held up his hands in mercy—“but this chick is something else.”

“Chick? Really?” Alice scolded.

“Yeah, sweetness, chick. Go ahead, tell me all the reasons why you’re insulted by that term. I know you want to.”

What she wouldn’t do to wipe that smug grin off his way-too-handsome face. Bastard.

“Try not to choke on your beer, Brady—you’ve managed to piss off the only one of us here who knows CPR.”

“Oh, sweetness, we both know you’re dying to give me mouth-to-mouth.” As if it were possible, Brady’s smile got even wider, which only infuriated her more.

After very maturely flipping him off, she took her bottle and retreated into the living room, ignoring his laughter.

Even before her behind hit the couch, she could hear Lily and Jake plotting. They were doing it again: working out how to separate Alice and Brady before another argument ensued.

A moment later, Lily bounced down next to Alice and shot her a look. The look that only her big sister could give her. The “I’m disappointed in you, Alice” look.

“Why didn’t you tell me Deputy Douche was gonna be here?” Alice asked.

“Really? We’re gonna have this conversation again, Ali?”

Alice made quick work of opening the wine bottle and taking a healthy gulp before offering it to Lily. She shook her head at the offer and continued her rant. “What the hell is up with you two? I’ve never seen you like this with anyone before!”

Alice snorted at that. “Yeah, well, I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting dickwad out there before now.”

“Uh-huh. Well, maybe you should try and tamper down all that charm of yours. He’s a cop, y’know? He knows where to hide the bodies.”

Alice knew where this conversation was headed. It wasn’t the first time she had heard it. In fact, her sister had given her the talk at least three times already over the past two weeks. Brady was Jake’s best friend, and he wasn’t going anywhere. And seeing as Alice wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, Lily wanted them to at least try to get along. But it wasn’t that easy. Alice had tried to ignore him, avoided engaging with him, and what did the jerk do? He poked her. Poked and poked and poked until she couldn’t stand it any longer and told him where to go. It was almost as if the sicko took pleasure in sparring with her.

She took another swig of wine and winced at the sharp tang lingering on her tongue.

He’s literally driving me to drink.

“Maybe you should be having this conversation with him, Lilypad? It takes two to tango and all that.”

“What do you think Jake is doing right now?”

“Well, then, great. I can’t wait to meet the new and improved Deputy Douche.”

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