Page 57 of Expiry Dating

“Oh, honey.” Lily dragged Alice into her embrace again, continuing to stroke her hair.

Alice drank in the comfort. She was so sick of being strong. Not when she felt so broken on the inside. She was going to take this. She needed it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alice simply shrugged in her sisters’ arms. Lily didn’t say anything else, just held her. They stayed like that for a while until Alice was sure her tears were gone for good this time.

Once she’d sat up, Lily rose and went in search of tissues. After letting Lily wipe down her face, her sister’s expression grew more serious. “So, let me get this straight. Dad, Rob, and the assortment of douchecanoes you’ve dated in the past have you believing you’re destined to be cheated on?”

When she put it like that, it sounded slightly pathetic. But Alice couldn’t deny that was how she felt.

“Rob was supposed to be a sensible choice. The way I felt for him ... I cared about him, sure. But, Lily, it’s nothing compared to the way I feel about Brady. And if Rob hurt me, then I know for sure that Brady could fucking destroy me.”

“I understand, you know I do. I mean, look what happened with me and Jake. I set myself up for disappointment from the beginning because I’ve never known any different. But look at us now. Ali, I’m so happy. He makes me so happy. Not giving in to fear was the best thing I’ve ever done. You can have that too if you let yourself.”

Alice shook her head. It was not the same.

“Ali, please listen to me. You really think not being with Brady, not being with the man you’re in love with, is gonna hurt less? Huh? ’Cos how you feeling right now, sis?” Alice tried to protest but was shut down. “I’m not done. You’re afraid, yes. But are you really going to live life not doing things ’cos you’re scared? By not letting yourself have this, you’re hurting yourself for no reason. A life lived in fear is no life at all.”

Alice was scared. She’d been scared ever since Brady had kissed her for the first time. She didn’t want to live her life in fear, but changing wasn’t as easy as her sister made it sound. Could she really just throw caution to the wind and take such a huge leap of faith?

I’ll lose him if I don’t.

***

Lily’s words were still at the forefront of Alice’s mind that evening. Brady had only been gone for a week and she couldn’t take it anymore. Whoever said that absence makes the heart grow fonder was a liar. If anything, absence was making her heart bleed out. Even breaking up with Rob hadn’t hurt this much.

She let out a sigh as she stared into her fridge. “Hmm ... what do my feelings want to eat tonight?”

The only thing that looked mildly tempting was the cheese. Her shoulders slumped as she internally berated herself for not getting enough junk during her last shopping trip. Supermarket Alice was an optimist and had foolishly purchased a load of healthy food that didn’t look appealing in the slightest.

Pulling out a can of Diet Coke, she went back to the sofa and snuggled back under her blanket. She was in for another lonely night.

Maybe Lily’s right. Being scared to get hurt is hurting pretty damn bad right now.

As if her sister was some sort of mystical mind reader, Alice’s phone pinged her out of her thoughts. She clicked on Lily’s name and her breath caught.

Lily: Just thought you’d wanna know, Brady is back. Think about what I said. Love you, sis! Xx

Brady is back. Those three words sent tingles down her spine and caused a familiar ache in her chest. She realised right then that this feeling wasn’t going to go away. Brady already had her heart. There was no use denying it. The real question was, was she prepared to risk it to be with him?

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