She doesn’t protest. At least there’s that. Then after a long silence where she seems lost in contemplation, she whispers, “Thanks.” Then she whips around and blurts the weirdest thing. “Saffron.”
“Huh?”
Her eyes are like saucers, like she’s confessing to some crime. “The maple glazed veggies on herbed quinoa. It was saffron. Not turmeric.”
Of course it was her. Warmth spreads through me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Her throat bobs. “I was embarrassed.”
Embarrassed? What the fuck?
“You were going on and on about how good that dish was, and only after that did you ask who made it and at that point I was just overwhelmed,” she blabbers.
“You’re not good with compliments,” I say, stating the obvious.
“You said other embarrassing things.”
I did? “What’d I say?”
She waves my question away. “It was in the heat of the moment. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters to me.”
“Oh. You said something about how the person who made it… I don’t remember your exact words, but it was something about love, and well, it got a little embarrassing. For me. You know, if I’d said something at that point.”
I set the chilled gazpacho on a prep table with the small shot-like containers next to it. “Grab that ladle there and set it over there?” Once she does, I ask her, “Why was it embarrassing to you? It was a compliment.”
She shakes her head. “It’s silly… I just… just took your compliment to heart, and I figured everyone would see right through me if I said anything. You know, like, they would see that we shared… a moment in Boston, and I know that was totally me extrapolating, but that was how I felt, and I couldn’t help but be panicked at the idea. I didn’t want to upset you any more than you already were.”
“Upset me?” She’s making no sense at all.
“You were super upset at me for showing up at your pub, and I know the whole rent mess wasn’t helping my case, but well, when I saw you, I figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”
“Why you were so angry at me. It wasn’t just the rent. It was mainly because you thought I wasn’t holding my end of the promise we made in Boston. So I just wanted to clarify, your secret is safe with me.”
“My secret?” I can’t believe what she’s saying right now. The reason for my No Name, No Number rule was that I didn’t want any complications. No expectation of any sort of follow-up ever happening. And certainly no assumption of any commitment of any sort. Not because I was hiding something from the gossips here.
“Well, you know, Bost—”
“It’s not a secret what I do on my trips,” I say, and immediately regret it when I see the hurt shadowing her face, quickly replaced by a brave yet tight little smile.
“Oh, good,” she squeaks, then clasps her hands and says, “Should I check if anyone’s there? It’s noon already.”
Thirty minutes later she’s laughing out loud as she’s retelling the story of how she pretended to want us to serve salamanders.
“He thought I was serious!” she hiccups, her gaze briefly crossing mine before settling on Alex, who’s finger-feeding Chris. Those two can’t keep their hands off each other now that they’re back together and there’s no reason for them to hide their relationship.
“I would’ve believed you,” her server Abby says. “You’re capable of anything,” she adds with admiration.
“Remember when our POS stopped working?” Shoshana asks around. Chloe’s front of house staff starts telling a story that happened when she was just starting out, while Chloe shrugs it off, laughing a bit.
She’s back from the freak-out moment she had in the kitchen, and I can’t say that it doesn’t mean something to me that she shows her vulnerability to me. I’m fucking proud that her staff thinks she’s this badass boss who isn’t afraid of anything, and I know deep down she is that.
But it rocks my world that she shows me another side of her. She showed her true self to me in the elevator, and she never put up that wall again. Not with me. And what am I supposed to do with that?
twenty-eight