Page 154 of The Promise Of You

Can he be who I need?

And I fail at finding answers.

Anguish settles in the pit of my stomach. I know it’s my insecurities, and they have nothing to do with Justin, and everything to do with me.

Tomorrow, in the light of day, I’ll see everything differently.

I know one thing. I can trust Justin.

And that’s all I really need. I spoon against him and let his warmth finally lull me to a restless sleep.

His kiss on my bare shoulder is what wakes me up from my short and agitated night. I turn slowly, the cobwebs of my insecurities pinning me to the night. Forcing myself to open my eyes, I say his name softly, hoping for an embrace, the feeling of his arms around me, the reassurance that he’s real.

But all I get is the front door shutting, then his truck roaring as he peels from my driveway.

I blink. Light is pouring into the bedroom. I overslept. Pushing myself up on one elbow, I’m jolted awake by the time on my phone and a cup of coffee on my nightstand.

And I know what I was doing. I know why I was giving into my staff’s insistence that we take more work.

I was trying to chase away the sense of doom. But now there’s nothing else for me to focus on.

I still need to stop these thoughts.

I take a sip of coffee. Coffee at home without Justin is just plain sad. And I don’t need sad right now. Feeling slightly guilty, I pour the coffee he made me down the drain. I go to the bathroom, pull on a light summer dress, my sandals, and decide to walk to Easy Monday, using the cut through the woods that continues alongside the river.

I plug my earphones in and call Fiona. I wish I could video with her, to show her the beautiful countryside, and maybe make her think over not ever wanting to come back here. But there’s not enough network coverage, so we have to stick to audio.

I need to update her on the fact that I’m buying the restaurant, but more importantly, on the new family developments. Only she can fully understand me about this, and boy do I need to offload on someone right now.

“How do you feel about it?” she asks when I’m done giving her the bare facts.

I take a deep breath, focusing my gaze on the meadow on the other side of the woods, buzzing with insects. “How is it that the people I love most can just lie to me? I mean, I can maybe get that Mom and Dad never shared that story before, but knowing I was taking over Uncle Kevin’s restaurant? Knowing I was going to be right next to Justin? You’d think they’d give me a heads up. What’s up with that?” Anger mixes with disappointment.

“You feel taken for granted,” Fiona says.

“What do you mean?”

“Whatever happens, people think you’ll be cool about it. That you’ll accept it.”

Yeah, that sounds about right. “That stinks. Why are they like that?”

“Because you let them?”

“I don’t let them!”

“Clo, when was the last time you called them out on their shit?” She stays silent for a beat, then, “Lemme guess, last night, you just sat there, listened, nodded, and said—what? What did you tell Dad?”

What did I tell him? Nothing that I can remember. “I—what was I supposed to say?!” She’s getting on my nerves because she is so right. I am taken for granted, and it’s all my fault.

“It’s alright, Clo, it’s who you are. You have to understand that about yourself. You’re a good person, and people are going to take advantage.”

“But—but these are people I love! People who are closest to me.” Tucker’s astonished reaction when I confronted him about cheating crosses my mind, and then stays there. He, too, took me for granted. He thought I should be cool about it. Cool about it!

Am I really bringing this upon myself?

“You’ll be okay, sis. The good ones always win in the end,” Fiona says as a matter of goodbye. “But it doesn’t hurt to fight the bad people, once in a while.”

Fighting the bad people? I don’t know about that.

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