Page 141 of The Promise Of You

“Ah,” I sigh. “It’s good to be off my feet. How was dinner?” I lean in and add, “Honestly.”

“It was perfect, honey. Honestly.” She gives me a warm smile, but her gaze seems to be evaluating me.

“Thank you,” I say, returning her smile. “You’re not staying to give me feedback about the food, are you?” Shoshana brings me a glass of water and I thank her.

“No,” Lynn says once she’s gone. “I’m here about… what’s happening with Justin and…”

“Gisele.”

“Right. Gisele.” She sighs. “How are you holding up? Honestly.”

“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s so new, I feel I still need to process it. I… I freaked out at the beginning. But I…” I look at her tentatively, “I love Justin. I’m in love with him, and I want to be here for him all the way.” Her face softens at my confession. “In any way I can. I don’t know what that’s going to look like, but I’m guessing, new parents figure stuff out as it happens. I mean, man plans and god laughs, right? I’m thinking, stepparents should just figure it out as it happens too.”

I take a sip of water. “But I’m happy to take advice.” I give her a small smile. Do I even know how she feels about me? Are they traditional, and do they think Justin should marry Gisele? Ohmygod, is that why they came, to talk me into doing the right thing and retreating into the shadows? And what will I do if that’s what they think is right for Justin?

“I feel exactly the way you do. I want to meet this… Gisele myself before I pass judgment, but let me tell you, Haley gave a full-blown account of her this evening right as we were getting ready to come, and she is. Not. A. Fan.” Lynn raises her eyebrows, tilts her chin, and takes a sip of wine. “Now of course, you’re as good as a King to us. You’re Justin’s girlfriend, and you need to know—this means the world to us.” She reaches for my hand. “You’re like a second daughter for me, Chloe, and I want to get to know you as well as I know my own if I’m going to love you as my own, which I already do. So first order of business is, we schedule time alone, just you and me, and Haley sometimes, to do stuff together. Second order of business is, if anything is wrong and you need to talk to someone, a shoulder to cry on, you come to Mom,” she says, pointing her finger at her chest.

My eyes well up. Mom?

She continues. “Things you need to know about Justin. He’s loyal to a fault. Competitive like you wouldn’t believe it. And he has more willpower than anyone I know.”

“I’ve seen all this in one form or another.”

“I know you have. That’s why you love him.” She pauses, looking for her words. “The thing you need to understand, these qualities are also his flaws. What put him in the impossible situations he finds himself in.”

She takes another break, her mind going somewhere dark. “The accident changed the course of his life entirely. But it didn’t break him. It made him a better version of him. He used to be so competitive with Ethan, and he never stood a chance. Ethan was a natural at sports, and three years older than him. Didn’t matter. Justin always wanted to be better than him. Jump from a higher rock in the river. Pitch faster. Run faster. I watched him fail miserably for eighteen years. And then after the accident, Ethan was gone, and I watched Justin compete against himself and become…what he is now. And I’m so proud of him.”

The last clients are gone, and Shoshana is folding napkins at her station, too far to hear us.

“I asked Justin to bring Gisele to the farm once the paternity test clears,” Lynn says. My heart clenches. This is what my life is going to be now. “I wanted you to know that, and I also wanted to tell you, sweetheart, when that happens, I want you there too. When Justin is ready for us to meet her, you should be by his side. You are Justin’s love. No one else.”

My eyes well up, and I’m the one reaching for her hand now. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“This is going to be hard. I need you to be strong for our son. Can you be that?”

“Of course,” I assure her, praying I’ll eventually become that person Justin needs.

“And always remember, you’re feeling blue, you’re feeling like it’s too much, you need someone to talk to, you come to me.”

That night, I call Justin on my way out. “I’m going to be working on my business plan tonight,” I tell him. “I don’t want to delay sending it, and I just don’t know when I’ll have time during the day. D’you want to sleep over at the cottage or…?” I have most of my notes at the cottage, and I prefer working from my laptop than on Uncle Kevin’s antiquated computer.

Justin’s silence on the phone, however short it is, eats at me. “I—I’m leaving early for Burlington tomorrow. Maybe it’s best I stay here. If you’re going to be pulling another all-nighter?”

Part of me feels like I’m falling inside. “I’m sorry, baby. I have to.”

His response comes immediately this time. “I know. Don’t be sorry. I’m proud of you. We’ll get through this. Together.”

“Kay.” I hang up before my voice betrays me and he knows I’m holding back tears.

I spend the night working on the business plan and send it in the morning. Then I catch some sleep right around the time when I suppose Justin is hitting the road with Gisele.

It hurts, and I know my insecurities are to blame.

I also know it’s just the beginning.

forty-two

Justin

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