Page 133 of The Promise Of You

And as I dry off, water keeps falling from my eyes.

Once I’m dressed and my emotions are in check, I find Justin leaning against the rooftop railing, looking at The Green, or maybe farther out, to the distant hills. I wrap my arms around him, my front to his back. “I’m leaving.”

“I want my kids to grow up here. She’s not taking him anywhere.”

I give him a squeeze and pull myself together to be the voice of reason he needs right now. “Then maybe you should calm down and be nice to her this afternoon. Also, maybe your first child will be a girl.”

“I hope not.”

What?! What’s gotten into him? “Why not?”

He turns to face me and takes my face in his hands. “I want my daughters to look like you, Clover.” He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me, hard and desperate, his hands roaming up and down my back, leaving no space between our melded bodies.

My knees are weak from his words. What is he saying? We haven’t talked about the future yet, about what we want.

Maybe this conversation just started. Or maybe it never will happen, now that—“I should go,” I breathe.

He gently runs the pads of his thumbs over my eyes, and from the look of him, I can tell he knows I’ve been crying. “I’m sorry, Clo. Really sorry.”

“It’ll be okay.”

He pulls me into him again, his heart beating so hard it bangs through my own body.

“I’m sorry,” he says again as he releases me, holding my hands as I back away from him. “Good luck with Johnson. Whatever he offers you, ask for double.”

Big fat raindrops hit my windshield the minute I leave Emerald Creek, and the limited visibility forces me to slow down. Corded ropes of water hit my car when I pass a truck on the highway. The parallels to my present situation don’t escape me, and my vision blurs as I indulge in a little self-pity. Just like this beautiful summer is marred by a brutal and unannounced storm, my new relationship with Justin is taking a turn I can’t control.

I never saw it coming.

Am I strong enough to be the person Justin needs by his side? Can I watch him raise another woman’s child? Co-parent with her?

Do I have what it takes?

I’m already jealous of her.

Visions of Tucker with the blonde blend with my overactive imagination—Justin with Gisele. Me standing on the sidelines.

Maybe I should just step aside. Fade away. Exit Justin’s life.

Our relationship is just starting, right? It’s not like we’ve built anything together yet. It would hurt, of course it would, but long term, I wouldn’t have to witness, every single day, the happiness someone else’s child brings him.

That makes me a bad person, I know it does.

But I’ve been through the pain of seeing someone I thought I was building a life with, turn to another woman. Mom thought I should be understanding. She said that people are weak, but I didn’t have the strength to forgive that.

I simply could not.

I don’t share.

I know it’s not the same situation. But whichever way I try to look at it, I can’t help but draw parallels.

Sure, I want what’s best for Justin.

It doesn’t mean it’s good for me. Or that I should build my life around that.

I’m no hero.

I stay in the bank parking lot for a minute and gather myself. As always, focusing on work will be the answer. The CEO of the local community bank asked to see me after my resounding success with the Local’s Pass. A success he must have seen the monetary result of, or he wouldn’t have asked me to come in. It’s time for me to reap those rewards.

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