Page 132 of The Promise Of You

“’Bout what? It’s not your fault.”

He grunts.

“Not really,” I insist. “Stuff happens.”

He clenches his arms tighter around me. “I need to get a paternity test, stat. I’m not talking ’bout anything else ’til that’s settled.” He rocks me gently, then grunts before peeling himself off me. “Fuck. What am I going to do? This is so unfair to you.”

“Honey, we’ll figure it out,” I say with way more certainty than I feel. “This isn’t about me.” Or my feelings. It’s about Justin. About helping him navigate these first few days, then the next few weeks. Get things sorted out by the time the baby is born.

After that… oh god, but what am I going to do? You’re going to be strong, Chloe.

“You should go,” he says, tilting my fake inner peace off balance. Sensing my confusion, he narrows his gaze on me. “To see Scott.”

I’m jolted back to what I said earlier. “Oh. Yeah. It’s okay, he… he said to swing by today. Anytime. I can go later. When you meet with her.”

He lifts my chin so he can look me straight in my eyes. “I just got some fucked up news. I need you. Please?” He does look a little lost.

“Baby. Of course.”

“I’ll need you with me, Clover.” Desperation and uncertainty seep through his strangled words.

“Baby.” I run a hand on his cheek. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know about that.”

“You just need time to get used to the idea.” And I do too. Truthfully, I don’t know if I have it in me to get used to the idea. But I’m not going to tell him that.

“I can’t be a father, Clo.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll mess up.”

“All parents mess up.”

“What if I hurt it clipping its nails?”

I hold my chuckle. “It’s not a puppy, Justin. Clipping nails will be the least of your worries.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say. He looks panicked. “The least?”

“Raising a child… it’s about talking. Setting an example. Giving life tips. You’ll be great at that.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Life tips? Me?”

The idea of Justin raising another woman’s child brings bile to my mouth. I can’t be that person. “You want to drive with me to see Johnson?” The bank headquarters are about a half hour away. That would give us alone time to talk things through.

He blinks, his features set. “Nah. I’m gonna do a little thinkin’.”

We go back up to his apartment, and I slip into the shower, needing time to myself. I turn the water temperature to nearly scalding but still I shake inside, and the flowery shampoo doesn’t do its normal job of making me feel awesome and gorgeous and ready to take on the day.

I am not ready for this day or for the days ahead of me.

Sure, Justin and I haven’t been dating for a long time, so it’s not like we’re a couple or anything. But we had a good thing going.

We loved each other.

What is going to happen to us now?

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