Page 88 of Never Let You Go

Then there’s the muted sound of giggles, clearly not directed at me. “Love you,” she finally says to me before hanging up.

I’m trying to process the idea of Barbara getting fired from Red Barn. Barbara having sex with a man. And Barbara being so aloof about the state of my evolving relationship with Christopher.

Barbara thinks I love Christopher. But in Barbara’s world, everyone loves everyone. If you don’t love someone, it’s because you haven’t had a chance to know them yet.

In Barbara’s world, you love people who are cool and haven’t hurt you. In my mind, I’d always add “yet” at the end of that sentence when it applied to men, since they were bound to hurt me eventually, and I had family history to prove my point.

Christopher is cool and hasn’t hurt me (yet), so in Barbara’s world I love him.

I didn’t have the heart to set her straight.

But when my phone rings again and this time it’s Sarah, the conversation is going to go very differently.

“Lexie! I misssss you. Can you talk, right now? Is this a good time? Is it not too late? At what time to bakers go to bed, again?”

I laugh at her non-stop questioning. I miss her too.

Sing-songing the words, she ends with, “How’s Emerald Creek? And the apprenticeship?”

“The apprenticeship part—I’m not gonna lie; it’s harder than I thought. It’s just not for me, you know?”

“I hear you.” She sighs. “You have regrets?”

“No. I have to do this.”

“Not really, you don’t,” she grunts. Then changes the topic. “How about the non-apprenticeship part? You doing anything fun?”

I look around the room, wondering when and how to tell her about the bedroom makeover. I close the door to the hidden staircase and store the key away.

“Yeah, I started working on some of the businesses’ social media.” I mention Grace and her spa and other businesses I’m beginning to help.

Sarah laughs. “I’m talking about real fun.”

“Oh, yeah. Wellll. Something crazy happened today. Actually, lots of crazy things.” And that’s when I tell her most of what’s happened between Christopher and me since the middle of the night. My cheeks are burning just giving her the gist of it, so I leave out most of the graphic details.

When I’m done, she says, “Jesus Fucking Christ, that is hot. Like really, really hot. Man. When are you gonna do it?”

“I don’t know! It’s not like this was planned or anything.”

“Hmm. But wasn’t it? Deep down?”

I ignore her mind games. “He has a kid. We can’t just jump on each other once the bakery is closed. We’ll have to wait for Skye to be at a sleepover.” Well, looks like I’ve already given this some thought.

“Where d’you think you’ll do it? Your bedroom? His bedroom?”

“Who cares?” It’s always been that way. Sarah needs a plan while I need to go with the flow so I don’t counteract what’s bound to happen and create more mess in the process.

“I do! It’s important. His bedroom would carry meaning, you know? Like he wants you in his bed. Now, your bedroom is cute, and then you’d have his smell on your pillow. That’s a plus. But wait. Isn’t your bed twin-size? I wonder if that’s a pro or a con.”

“It’s not anymore.” I try to hide the excitement in my voice.

“What do you mean? Did you get a new bed? When did this happen? God I hate that you’re so far.” The last part of her words are mumbled, and then my phone beeps. Sarah is asking to switch to video. “Spill it,” she says, her face filling the whole screen.

I turn on the video on my phone. “Here’s what I walked into earlier today.” I have to lower the sound on my phone when she shrieks, “Ohmygod” non-stop for the first fifteen seconds of the tour I give her.

Once I zoom in on the details—the books on the shelves, the pottery vase on the dresser, the candles on the mantel, the watercolor of a barn in the snow over my bed—she gets sort of quiet, like she might be hyperventilating. She’s squinting and mumbling.

“Oh, my god, Lexie. That’s. So. Hot.”

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