Page 86 of Never Let You Go

“Honey. Don’t do the millennial thing with me. It’s rude.”

“What millennial thing?”

“The video.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I’m naked.”

“Eww.”

“Excuse me! I look great.”

Please remove the visual from my brain.

She lowers her voice. “I’m not alone.”

Kill me now. “I’llllll call back.” I hang up.

The phone lights up. Barbie Doll calling. I pick up the phone with two fingers. Hesitate. Hit the green button and close my eyes.

“Don’t you hang up on me,” she says. “Now. I get it. He fixed up the room, yada yada yada. I heard the room was more like an attic, so it looks to me he did the right thing. Now, tell me something I don’t know.”

How did she know about the attic rumor? I let that slide for now.

“Barb. It has a reading nook. And mohair pillows. And a cedar chest. And and and… he hired a decorator!”

“It’s not about the room.”

“Exactly! Why would he do that?”

“You’re not calling about the room. What else happened with Chris Wright?”

I plop on the super comfy, super soft bed and let out a deep sigh. “What didn’t happen.”

“Honey, you’ve been there a few weeks already. Thank god you’re having sex.” Her voice is all matter-of-fact. “I mean the guy is—” she lowers her voice, “he’s built for sex.”

Barbara having these thoughts about Christopher is confusing to me, and I don’t need more of that now. “Barb! I did not have sex with him.”

“Oh.” She seems disappointed.

“We just kissed.” And fooled around. He gave me an orgasm. Or two.

A perky, “oh,” this time.

Gaaah. “Why am I even calling you?” I say, at the same time she says, “Why are you calling me?” After that, we stay silent for a while, her presence comforting me, even when we’re both silent on the phone.

“Why are you freaking out, honey?” she finally asks.

“I’m scared,” I admit.

“Of what?”

“Of losing myself. He’s just so… so…”

“So what?”

“So man and so gentle and strong and perfect in every way. He’s a great dad, been raising his daughter alone since she was born. And he works with his hands, and he’s smart and so generous. Everybody loves him,” I finish on a whisper.

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