Page 181 of Never Let You Go

When I walk in, Colton is giving Justin a hard time for his attitude. “You been in a shit mood since we came back from Boston. I thought you always got some when you’re out of town.”

Kiara slides onto the stool next to Colton. “What’s up with that, by the way? What’s wrong with the women around here?”

“I don’t shit where I eat,” Justin snaps.

“Lovely,” Haley says. “Mom and Dad would be proud of you,” she adds sarcastically. “Good thing they’re late.”

“As usual,” Justin growls.

Fuck. He’s in as bad a mood as I am. “What’s up, man?” It’s time I get my head out of my ass and actually give a damn about my friends’ problems. “You worried what’s gonna happen next door?” The owner of the fine dining restaurant adjacent to Lazy’s had a heart attack. There was no love lost between the two, but their businesses are linked somehow, and the guy’s passing is going to shake things up for Justin. I’m not sure how, but I bet that’s what eating at him. Word has it he had an epic argument with their new manager.

He wipes the squeaky clean counter, says nothing.

“Come on, man. What’s up? Colton’s right—”

“Just drop it. Nothing’s up. You been moping around for weeks now, your business is still closed, but when you finally get out of your cave, you think you can give me lessons or somethin’?” His anger is palpable, hitting me in the stomach. Fuck.

“Hey, cousin,” Grace says, wrapping her arms around my middle and squeezing me. “You okay?” she whispers.

I shut my eyes and hug her back. “I don’t know,” I admit. I’ve been trying to reach out to Alexandra, but I still haven’t heard back from her.

“She’ll be back,” Cassandra says. I open my eyes and see a group of women assembled around me. I let go of Grace and shuffle my feet.

“She just needs time,” Wendy says.

“Space,” Kiara adds.

“Just keep trying,” Autumn says.

Emma huffs. “Seriously, you guys aren’t helping him. You need to leave it be, Chris. Honestly, I could never understand what the hype about her was anyway. You’ll see diff—”

“Do yourself a favor, Emma, don’t trash talk Alex,” Grace says. A couple of the women look embarrassed.

Emma quiets and shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“Alex is the kindest, most generous person I know. What’s wrong with you?” Autumn says, and Emma blushes, catching onto the vibe coming from the women.

I know Emma is only looking out for me, offering me a clumsy way to cope. She means well, but she clearly doesn’t know where this barrage is coming from. “Told you you should have tried to get to know her better, Ems,” I tell her. “Your loss.”

“Oh, Emma was close to Alexandra. Weren’t you, honey?” Wendy says.

Emma turns a deep shade of red. “No, not really. Not at all.” She looks a little panicked.

“Welllll,” Wendy draws out. “I wouldn’t say that.” She glances at me, then her eyes narrow back on Emma. “Or else why would you pay her a long visit in the middle of the night after Christopher broke things off? You told me you came to offer support. That’s what friends do.”

Emma offered support to Alexandra after I broke things off? What is Wendy talking about?

“Dee Dee!” Kiara interjects. “What the hell? Everybody knows Emma couldn’t stand Bambi.”

Wendy turns to Kiara. “Remember the night of the party for Christopher?”

“What about it?” I ask.

“Alex came to stay with her friend at the hotel.”

I close my fists, remembering what a selfish asshole I’d been. I’ve been going over that night a million times. I can live with myself for being angry at her after I heard from Emma that she was inheriting Red Barn. It was impulsive of me, but I’m not perfect, and I had my reasons.

But I can’t live with myself after I had a few days to calm down, after I won the competition, after Alexandra threw me a party and was still waiting for me, sweet and forgiving and fucking way more than I ever deserve. I’ll never forgive myself for pushing her away. There was no reason other than my stubbornness. I hurt her, I lost her, and even if by some miracle I win her back, I’ll never forgive myself for that.

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