Page 176 of Never Let You Go

I hug her tight and close my eyes. “You already knew that.”

Grace is greeting her cousins and saying, “If you guys are in, I’ll talk to your mom and dad about working here.”

Skye pinches my cheeks and pulls them apart. “Yes,” she says. “Now smile.”

I try to smile as I set her down. Alexandra is standing back, looking like she wants to leave, but Skye starts pulling on her yellow summer dress, introducing her to her uncles.

The dress shows her shoulders, hugs her breasts, and stops right above her knees. All I can think about is how soft her skin is.

How sweet she tastes.

How deeply moving her kisses are.

And how I’ll never have her again.

The twins’ eyes light up the sight of her, and Ryan pulls her into a hug that lasts several unnecessary beats. Little shithead.

“Alexandra is—was—our apprentice,” I say. “She’s leaving the day after tomorrow.”

fifty-two

Alexandra

Abottle of wine and a whole box of tissues into the night, Sarah asks again, “You’re really doing that?”

“Yes,” I sniffle. “Red Barn is already a half-lost battle anyway, and it’s not one I feel like fighting anymore. Not without him to support me. I—I didn’t—couldn’t find the words to explain myself to him. I need to show him.”

“No bad ass girl boss in your future?”

“This is my only way to show him I love him. I’m a bad ass girl boss with her priorities right.”

“M’kay.”

“There’s so much more to life than running a multi-million company that does no good at all. Look at Rita. I don’t want her life. No thank you.”

As if on cue, my phone rings.

Barbara.

“Hello,” I croak.

“Calling to wish you good luck, my love. We have champagne on ice here. Are you driving back right after the exam? There’s no rush. You should stay and spend some time with your celebrity lover. Maybe we’ll come up and celebrate with you. Jerry! You down for a trip to Emerald Creek? Why haven’t I thought about this earlier? We can all drive back down together like the big happy family we are, right on time for the general meeting. It’s not for another two weeks.”

“Barb. I’m not going.”

“Pardon? What did you say? I’m getting hard of hearing.”

Is she joking, or is she really getting hard of hearing? She’s pushing seventy. “I’m not going to take the exam.”

“What is that? I’m not following.”

“I’m giving up on Red Barn. I can’t do it. Won’t do it.”

“And why is that? We have it all figured out. Jerry has been pumping me up to be your mighty right hand. Like with Rita, but better.”

I take a deep breath, and the words spill out, as well as the tears. I tell her how I was exposed, and how that affected my relationship with Christopher. “Red Barn has caused me so much pain, Barb. So much. I can’t take it anymore. In a way, I’m relieved the choice is made for me. I feel like I have a real direction, now.”

“Well, that’s quite the grand gesture,” Barbara says. It’s followed by silence, not even the sound of her drawing on a joint and exhaling. “You might regret that, you know. It’s a lot to give up on.”

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